An update to an update on my journey of trying to be a good person. That’s what this post is about.
Wanna know where my phone is at the moment? Buried under a mound of pillows to stiffle the ring. Wanna know why? Because, I was nice to a person who I am beginning to believe has lost all sense of reality.
Of course, I’m talking about my SIL. That biotch is hanging on me like the odor of lingering bad fart. I have been graced with her presence for almost 3 days straight now.
Yes, I know that she lost her daughter and is grieving. But, she is driving me to think pretty fondly of death, too.
She was here for hours and hours and hours yesterday and the day before. I thought that I could give her the slip today by leaving my house at a totally insane hour. I left at 6:30. I have been talked into having a yard sale with daughters. Why did I agree to this? I’m always tired and grouchy before it even starts. Anyway, I went over to A’s house early to set things up for tomorrow. It was hot. I was tired and grouchy. But, at least, I didn’t have my Siamese twin hanging off my side….for a while. Sure as hell, here comes her little red car pulling into the drive-way. Holy shit!!!!!
I tried to remain calm and go ’bout my business. She started picking stuff up and saying, “How much?”
“You can have it” I said.
She picked up some little boy’s boxer shorts and said, “How much?”
“Those are little boys, L. What do you want with them?” I said.
“ They remind me of when I was little and Mother dressed me in boy’s clothes” she said.
“So, why do you want those now” I asked.
“They match this red T-shirt that I’m gonna buy”
The T-shirt was a little boy’s, too. So, that made no sense to me but perfect sense to her.
“Just take them.”
It went back and forth like that over at least 20 items. She was totally getting on my nerves but at least she was carrying crap away with her.
the neighbor’s husband walked over and some how or another, she and the guy started talking about Nascar. John has his garage in everything Nascar. He even has one of Dale Jr’s wrecked bumpers. He offered to take her to see it. BTW…John is a happily married man. He is really nice and friendly and I’m sure he didn’t give taking a strange woman into his garage a second’s thought. However, here is a very important piece of info that you need to know about L. She thinks that every guy wants to get into her pants. One of her most frequent comments is, “He asked me for some home-girl p*ssy!” Knowing this, A and I looked at each other at the same time and we knew what each was thinking. “PLEASE, LORD, DON’T LET HER COME BACK SAYING THAT HE WANTED SOME HOME-GIRL P*SSY!” First, we would know that she was lying. Second, his wife is AMAZON women and would snap her into like a little brittle twig.
But, she came back and didn’t say it. I won’t be surprise if she decided to confide in me later that he said it. And, I won’t believe her.
She spotted a tie tac with a cherub on it from The Vatican Jewelry Collection that I had got in a bag sale at one point.
“Is this a pin?”
“No, it’s a tie tac”.
“Well, I’m gonna buy it and use it as a pin because it reminds me of L (her daughter)”.
HTF would a man’s Catholic tie tac with an ugly ass cherub on it remind her of her daughter? That’s the thought that ran briefly through my head but I seriously was not in the mood to ask her.
“Just take it”.
Then, I hear WAILING! Not soft crying or even a medium bunch of boo-hoos. WAILING!!!!! So, I looked over and she was seriously crying. I put my arm around here and lead her to a chair to sit down.
I have to be honest here. It’s cold of me to say this but…..was it real or acting? I decided to find out.
“Oh God! Why did you take her. I was a good mother. Yes, I did leave my kids sometimes and go off with men and I did slap her but I was a good mother. WHY? WHY? WHY did you take her. OH! I’m gonna passout!”
As Mary Winkler said, “My ugly came out”!
“Oh hell, no, you are not going to pass out! Sit your ass back in that chair and breathe normal. You are hyperventilating. Not stop that shit and breathe slowly in and out!”
She immediately did as I told her. I went and got her something to drink and she composed herself.
the neighbor on the other side came home. He is a city cop. A very nice guy who is somewhat quite.
“What’s that cops name?”
“Alan Jones. Why?”
“I gotta talk to him!”
no no no no no no….please don’t let her embarrass Alan. no no no no no no
She started yelling at him, “ Hey, I need to talk to you. Can I talk to you about something personal?”
Alan looked at me and I just shrugged my shoulders and gave him a I-don’t-know-what-the Hell-she’s doing look.
She jumped up and ran over to Alan and pulled him to a corner of the yard. I could see her talking a mile a minute to him. He was just nodding and looking pretty uncomfortable. Then, he went on in his house and she came back and sat down.
She spotted a bra which was a maternity nursing bra. She started into a ramble of how much her ex-husband loved to drink her breast milk. I’m use to her saying crazy, personal stuff and I just ignore her. However, by that time, there was a small crowd of neighbors in the yard chatting. And they ALL heard her. They left faster than a kid on the last day of school.
Holy crap! I had truly had all I could take. I do not even have enough “nice” left to help an old lady across the street. I was ready to LEAVE!!!! But…..
here came that weeping and wailing sound again. I turned and looked at her. She was holding that damn Vatican cherub pin/tie tac and crying again. Honestly, I had no sympathy or goodness left. I was used up. So, I said,
“L, if that tie tac is going to make you cry everytime you look at it, you’d be better off not having it. Dont’cha think”
“No, I want it. You just don’t know how I feel!”
She was right. I didn’t know how she felt. I, only, knew how I felt…..tired, impatient, grouchy, and bitchy. And, ready to get the hell out of there.
“Maybe, if I got some stuff to decorate her grave, I’d feel better”.
Listen, she has taken so much crap out to that grave, it looks like a hoarder is buried and wouldn’t give up their stuff even in death. Flags Windchimes Plastic Flowers It’s started to look like Sanford and Son’s junkyard. But, it is her daughter and I do respect her right to put whatever she wants on it.This might also be a good time to add that she is a REAL HOARDER. Makes me look like a ameteur. There is only a path thru her house to walk thru. There is nowhere to sit down. All chairs, couches, beds, stove, washer, dryer, and every other things with even a slightly flat top is completely covered with stuff. I’m going to take pics sometime and post them here.
So, she started digging thru yard sale stuff. She took some pretty silk flowers (lilacs and roses) that I had in the sale. Then, she picked up a big-ass acrylic star that goes on top of a Christmas tree. I never used it because it was just to big and heavy. Now, it’s going on the grave. I had enough sense left to know that I was tired, hot, grumpy, thirsty, hungry, and needed to leave before a
I left. It was around 5:00. I sure enjoyed by ride home all by myself. I came in and plopped down on the sofa. I was totally beat. But then…
the phone started ringing. And ringing. And ringing. Thank God for caller ID. Mine does not always work lately but for some reason, God let it work today. About 15 minutes later, the phone started ringing again. I picked it up and stuck it under a mound of pillows!
I’m not sure if your tank gets refilled while you sleep with compassion and niceness. And patience. I hope so because I am truly on EMPTY!