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My Current Read is Unreal

Posted May 24 2009 12:00am

Being the Cunning Linguist that I like to think I am, I could not resist picking this one up…oh, whenever, years ago.  I have a passion for “Reference Books.”  Any (ahem, as crappy as myself) writer should!

This one is called [ s ë x - i - c ö n ]©  That would be pronounced “lexicon.”  Like a collection of words.  I recall having a friend come over once, looking at it and saying “What’s that about? Sex Icon.”  When I showed it to her, we both laughed so hard.

Yeah, that’s right.  PA the “Sex Icon.”  Or wanna be or some kind of something special, as she appears to have some “How-To-Guide” on her bookshelf!

So yes, above is the title and below: “the ultimate x-rated dictionary.”  It is by Rod L. Evans, Ph.D.  I think the Publishers just tossed in the “x-rated” part to try and improve sales.  I mean, it already has “sex” screaming from the beginning! But then again, some people may not know what a diaeresis is. *shrug*

Well, basically that’s it! A sex dictionary! *laughing* No, no…it is a very “high brow” one.  You can sound positively smutty and smart at the same time! Seriously!

Some are outrageous! I mean, I’m one of the biggest perverts on the planet and there were words for things that even I’d never heard of! And that was just getting through the letter “A!”

Not to mention, I felt like getting a pen and a notepad to write down all the ones that were applicable to me.  You see? I told you.  Pervert.

They are offered up in phrases as well for “illustrations” that can be pretty funny too, at times.

Oh, just to think of tossing so many of these into my blog writing! People will be…what the hell is that word??? I can speak so dirty, and sexy in my “Intellectual Code!” *laughing and rolling eyes*

So, for your entertainment and education, here are some that really made me laugh:

allantotribism – female masturbation in which a sausage is used.  Derived from the Greek allas (sausage) and tribein (to rub.)

After seeing a pr0n movie depicting allantotribism, the young man quickly lost his appetite for the cookout.

aphallatosis“mental disorder” resulting from unsatisfactory sex life.  Derived from Greek a- (without) phallus (penis) and -osis (noun suffix for designating some condition, action or process.)

The psychiatrist asserted that not everyone who has an unsatisfactory sex life develops aphallatosis.

EDIT: Hands up for who feels their craziness is due to not getting any, enough or just what they’re getting plain old sucks!!!

arachnephilia – the tendency to be sexually aroused by spiders.  Derived from Greek arachne (spider) and philia (attachment, attraction.)

When I learned of my girlfriend’s arachnephilia, I told her that we should avoid black widows, lest we should violate the guidelines for safe sex.

EDIT: WTF? Spiders, huh? Well, it takes all kinds but PA has Arachnophobia!!!

avisodomy – sexual intercourse between a human male and a bird.  Derived from the Latin avis (bird) and sodoma (Sodom.)

The politician feared that the revelation of his avisodomy might alienate some voters, especially religious members of the Audobon Society.

EDIT: Okay, now this is a serious WTF.  A bird???

So, that’s it.  Brought to you by the letter, “A.” *laughing*

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