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Mania, Depression & Weight - Oh My!

Posted Jun 16 2008 6:12pm
My mania and depression are out of control. Ever take one of those small roller coaster’s that you think are going to be an easy ride, then you find it bumps and shakes and is more nerve wracking than a large one? Damn! I hate those, but that's me these days. Nothing too high, nothing too low, but crazy. The positive is that I am much more balanced than six months ago. but the negative is that means I notice more when I’m not feeling so hot.

I wake up feeling great. Bright eyed and bushy tailed and singing songs (Yes, Maurice hates it). I start with my morning walk. No more 5 – 10 minute walks for this stud! I’m up to 30 – 40 minutes each morning. Hell, after my walk I even take a shower before Maurice gets ready for work….Yes, I did say shower. About half the time now my claustrophobia is not an issue. Maurice's big frustration is that I hate the movie “The Sound of Music” but the songs I sing in the shower are usually from that movie. Hey, get off my case. They are easy to remember.

Things change around mid day. I slowly progress towards mania. I start taking on projects and begin doing my usual routine of play on computer, start a chore, start another chore, play on computer, etc. etc. until nothing gets done. Yesterday our couple’s counselor made me make a HUGE commitment. I committed to washing dishes for 15 – 20 minutes daily, or less if they don’t pile up. I really mean it when I say HUGE. It use to be that laundry was my bugaboo, but now its dishes. Sounds like an incredibly difficult challenge doesn't it? My goal is that once I get accustomed to doing the dishes regularly, that I'll take on another task for a short period each day. For now it's just one foot in front of the other. (I was tempted to put a video of that song from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer at this point, but I'll spare both you and I).

Evenings I get depressed. Maurice's shoulder gets wet some nights when I will break into tears for no reason. When I try to come up with one, the only thing that comes to mind is how much I hate having this disease. I thought I'd come to terms with it, but I guess I have some work to do. If I'm not crying then I am Maurice's worst nightmare. I become the bitchiest queen you ever saw, including West Hollywood.

Much as I’d like to skip it, let’s get to my weight. Last I got weighed was May 29. I was elated to step on the scale yesterday. I was fully confident that I had surpassed half of reaching my first goal of losing 24 pounds. I couldn't wait. The scale was my friend and I lovingly stepped on. Who the hell needs friends like that!!!! I gained one pound. I'm eating light healthy meals, I'm getting lots of fiber, drinking lots of water and walking from 30 - 40 minutes a day, so, how in the hell can I possibly gain? Being a Buddhist and a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have learned a lot about the danger of expectations. I preach it to my friends when they get upset over matters. Here I am the expert getting all pissy about gaining one pound. “Practice what you preach” is a bitch.

Because of the video in yesterdays post, there was chatter in the comments about the Brady’s and their house. family house. I'll leave you a link to a great website that shows the house today. The site is called 1164 Morning Glory Circle:

That was the address for the house in Bewitched, btw, not the Brady's. The site is about many tv houses.

I'm also going to leave you with another video treat. Does anyone else agree with me that Bobby is the hottest rock star ever?

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