When I was told I would no longer be able to work because of my bi-polar disorder, part of me died. I no longer had a feeling of self worth, I felt like one of those bottom feeders at the bottom of a fish tank. I started avoiding all the people that I knew and had ever worked with, I became a recluse. If I saw someone I knew before they saw me, I went the other way. I could not stand the look in their eyes when they looked at me. I donn't know if I will ever get used to living with this feeling of worthlessness, of being alone, of being a freak. There is nobody close to me that I can or would talk to about the way I am feeling, I keep it inside until I feel like I am at the point of exploding. I long to get in my car and drive until I drive off the edge of the earth. I donn't want to have to deal with society anymore, I'm tired of waiting and hoping for the next good day.