I can't decide what to do right now. I took ativan but I don't want to sleep. I did take a nice shower, which hasn't happened for a few days because I don't have the "time" to "waste" doing that, and as long as I don't smell it's okay. but while I am not "wasting my time" showering, it's not like I am doing anything else productive. but showering stresses me out because I have to see my body which I am unhappy with and it makes me stressed so when I get like this I avoid stress and don't shower as much. which sounds gross... but whatever. I am admitting it you my 28 followers of this blog :) I always get so excited when I see someone has added to follow it. it makes me happy... I guess because people care to read what I write, or it helps them somehow, or they can relate in some manner, it makes me feel like I am doing a good thing, you know? and they like me!!! :)
so i can shop online for a sapphire ring that I want, look for a Janikowski jersey, work on my three additional tattoo sketches, read for school (haha I don't think I can concentrate that well), finish my tutor certification, finish my resume for grad school, start writing my essays for the different grad schools, research how the hell I am supposed to write those, figure out a layout for my resume and what to unclude, research grad schools and programs, research the research the faculty does so I can reference my interest in specific things in my essay and so I can decide where I want to go, or I can continue to ponder the GRE and if/when I should retake it since my scores sucked on the verbal part. CRAPPPPPPP. dunno which to do.
I'm getting tired (thank you mister ativan) but i don't want to sleep. I want to stay awake and be productive and stuff. and I also don't want to sleep because it is a waste of time and now I'm kinda mad that I took the ativan but I needed to chill out a little more.... I don't know. I don't want to have those evil ass dreams either from Lamictal.
Bahhhhhh. I think I'll work on the resume, it's closest to completion.