My sister came and helped me, thankfully. She brought me plenty of Xanax, I chewed them up and swallowed (very nasty tasted btw ). She stayed with me in the bathroom until I was less paranoid and able to leave. We got lunch and went to the tattoo shop where I talked with the guy about I sketched up new lettering for the wrist that will work better with the small size I want it. I couldn't get the watch sized (so I can see where it lays so I know where to put the tattoo) so I will take it to a jeweler tomorrow and then get the tat tomorrow afternoon and my baby sister is going to come with me :)
I love her and thank her so much for helping me today. I felt terrible asking her for help because I am the big sister and she should never have to be stressed by dealing with me in that type of mental situation... but she was more than willing to be there for me. Thank you, I love you lil sister.
I'm at home now. Doped up beyond belief. It's kinda fun in a weird zombie way. It's a relief from feeling that bad of mania. Zombie is very welcomed right now.