I wrote this in response to someone on a blog website... and my response to her is something I try to tell myself when I too get discouraged... I may have never written it down here before so I will post it now:
"Am I just destines to be depressed for the rest of my life...grim outlook - but I just am not feeling as well as you all. Any thoughts?"
I believe your first step is to change your thought patterns. Do not give credence to the option you are "destined to be depressed". That should not be an option for you. Try to restructure your thoughts, and find a different, more optimistic way to view the situation. It's terribly hard to do and it is a conscious process I force myself to do each time I begin to get discouraged.
Perhaps Lamictal really isn't the drug for you, but keep trying. Keep searching, keep working with your psych doc adjusting doses and combinations of different meds. But you must not give up on hope. Once you mentally give up and succumb to the idea you are meant to be sad, then there isn't any amount of medication that can make you better. You have to believe in it.
It' a long and tedious process which gets worse before it gets better... but don't give up. Once you have given up... only then is all lost.