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JOURNAL: from my cell phone part V

Posted Jan 24 2009 4:56pm

holy crap I am certainly on the manic side of the magical line and its funny to be quite frank with you, or to be sally hahahaha! I cannot sit still and my brain cannot process concetrational material which sucks for school and my body is vibrating with static and whoooosh and that is kinda dumb but oh well so I self medicated with the vicodin to help me chillly out a we bit so that did help me to settle and I will alternate it with the ativan since too much of one makes me too sleepy although I sleep much its annoying that I wake up in the middle of the night shortly after sleeping and then I want to get up but I don't and make myself lay there or take ativan or something to help with the sleep my methods of pills may seem convoluted or silly and off but it works for me as well as I can manage and I think I should start the revia soon but I'll wait until I'm not taking any vicodin (for obvious reasons) and then hopefully I'll quit yabnking my damn hairs out of my scalp I fear I may be thining my hair too much I even had dreams where I was doing it and my eyelashes too I know I should stop but its really hard to not do it and I am compulsed and compelled to so I do do it and then I feel that I can't and I don't terribly understand it to br frank, and sallty hahahaand my obnoxiousness is annoying mom and my bubblyness is distracting I fear to the nice carpenter man who is doing work on the inside of the house and typing on this cell phone is cramping my hand but I like that I can still journal sorta even tho I don't have the dumb internet but my room is looking much better and my frames are all up of pretty pictures mom let me use bc I don't want to use the stuff I had used when I lived iin Idaho bc he really liked them so much and it reminds me of then and then I remember when I left and took them down and some other stuff and I don't like thinking about that
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