Aww crap. i've been trying to stave it off... however that stupid black Charlie Brown cloud has followed me at each duck and turn today. All I want to do, especially today, is sleep. I can keep myself sounding happy, and fairly convinced that I am, but... well... I am most certainly dysphoric. I don't give a crap about anything. I don't want to even study. I mean, the part of me that watches over me wants me to study, but *I* don't care to. Don't care if I do really. So I try to make myself, etc. It's stupid.
And all I want to do is sleep. That's pretty much all I have done today. And I have energy, but in the form of rage. I want to run around waving my arms and screaming. My body has energy, my mind is exhausted, I try t make myself do what I need to do, I want to rip everyone else's head off and tell them they are morons, I am getting even more pissed by sitting here and writing this actually. it's making it worse so I am going to end this entry here.
Hahahaha you sound so much like me its retarded. Hey um you might be interested in this, check out ADHD-PI its a form of adhd that often goes undiagnosed. It is a non hyperactive form of adhd (used to be called ADD) and it has symptoms like seemingly inexplicable depression and lack of motivation for anything. "I don't want to even study. I mean, the part of me that watches over me wants me to study, but *I* don't care to. Don't care if I do really. So I try to make myself, etc. It's stupid." I can relate to that a lot as well. That isn't uncommon though. Most people do what they have to because they are mature enough to listen to the part that watches over them, rather than the expedient and lazy self. Look up the theory of generativity.
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Aww crap. i've been trying to stave it off... however that stupid black Charlie Brown cloud has followed me at each duck and turn today. All I want to do, especially today, is sleep. I can keep myself sounding happy, and fairly convinced that I am, but... well... I am most certainly dysphoric. I don't give a crap about anything. I don't want to even study. I mean, the part of me that watches over me wants me to study, but *I* don't care to. Don't care if I do really. So I try to make myself, etc. It's stupid.
And all I want to do is sleep. That's pretty much all I have done today. And I have energy, but in the form of rage. I want to run around waving my arms and screaming. My body has energy, my mind is exhausted, I try t make myself do what I need to do, I want to rip everyone else's head off and tell them they are morons, I am getting even more pissed by sitting here and writing this actually. it's making it worse so I am going to end this entry here.