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JOURNAL: ativan calm breeze

Posted Feb 03 2009 12:08am

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took bunch of Ativan. feel sleepy. wanting to go to bed. feeling sloppy and floopy floppy. its nice. can't do school work though. I suck. blahhhdedddeeeeeealaaaaahhhhhh. blaaaahhhhhhhh. sleeeeepppyyyyy. fuzzy. sleep soon. I'm addicted to House still and after 2 shows I've already seen this week were watched again. its little after 9. I think I'll go to bed early tonight. sleeoytime.

my head is dumb and I'm have the "disconnect" where I feel like my head mind heart and body are all floating separately and held together by thin pieces of ribbon. its sacattered and confusing and I don't have continuity in thigs I do. head can get an order, the mind had to check it over to see if its kosher, then heart will fight with mind over what should be done and then its a matter of getting the right info agreed upon and sent to the head which has to get the body to actually do it if the drugs haven't made it too fatigued.

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I feel trapped in the cycle. pls I would like out. it is a sad thing to know this will go on and on for the rest of the life. blah.

but even though I have mind issues, I am so thankful for my little dog, Maddie. she's my best friend. seeing her and laying with her helps. I love her so much. she sleepds under the blankets with me and is such a doll when she snuggles up to me. you'd have to see her to know what I mean :) she's my little girl.

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