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Jesus……Take The Pills (with apologies to Carrie Underwood)

Posted Sep 12 2008 2:48pm

I think we should write our own song. Heck, maybe, we could make it our bonafide club athem.

I played around with this one a little. Not crazy about it. Anybody wanna add to it or suggest changes?

Anyway, it goes sumptin’ like this…….


She was fading fast last Friday so she rolled a great big fatty
Her button pushed on “GO!
Going home to see her pdoc, with the half used meds in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on her “high” and gasoline
It’d been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn’t pay attention
she was going way too fast
Before she knew it her mind was spinning from the grass
She saw her life flash before her eyes
It didn’t even cross her mind to cry
She didn’t even care
She threw her hands up in the airAnd screamed “Jesus, take the pills. Take them from my hands
Cause I ‘m In the danger zone
Please take them from me, bro
I’m in a hypnotic trance
From this mo-jo that I’m on
Jesus take the pills!Take the Effexor, Zolft and LexaproThat all the little benzos.When I take them, I don’t know where to goIn a bipolar life, this really blows.So, Jesus take the pills!!!!Please, J, take the pills!!!!Come on dude, just take the damn pills from me!!!!!

Pdoc appt today. He’s not there again. Instead, perky, young little phys asst. is taking his patients. She asks how I’m doing. I tell her that it’s hard to describe. Then she shocked me by saying that I looked “flat”. And, that’s exactly what I was. This girl is young and green but I think she’s starting to catch on really fast. I told her that the Effexor was working. Of course, I didn’t add that it wasn’t working because I was not taking it. I told her to give me some Lamictal. Thought I just might give it a try. A really smart bipolar friend suggested it. And, I would take her advice over the pdocs or phys asst. anytime. They don’t know what really works. They just read about meds in their books. They’ve never had to take them. They can’t possibly understand the workings of meds on the bipolar mind. They can study their stats but that’s all. I can teach a little boy to pee. It’s all in the technique. But, I don’t know what it’s actually like to pee standing up. Same difference.

Out of the blue, she asked a couple of questions that caught me completely off-guard.

“Do you cry very much?”

“No, I hardly ever cry. And, if I ever did, I would not tell you nor let you see me do it”.

“Are you suicidal?”

“Not today.”

She had a really pained expression on her young face. At first, I thought she was annoyed. But, then I realized that it was fear on her face. What would she have to do if I said yes, I am suicidal.

“OK….how long has it been since you were suicidal?”

“I don’t think about suicide (well, not for a long time). I just wouldn’t mind being dead sometimes. I would not consider killing myself but if you wanted to kill me, somedays, I’d probably let you”.

“I don’t want to kill you.”

“I know. I was just joking”.

Then we talked a bit about meds and stuff. She really is trying. Then, she told me something that was kind of upsetting. She works psych 2 1/2 days a week. She works upstairs in general medicine giving pap smears, see patients, etc the other 2 1/2 days. I think it’s great that she will be well-rounded. But, do I want to be treated by somebody who only does this in between other things? Not gonna let it cause me much concern right now. I know more than her. She knows that I know more than her. So, I pretty much get what I ask for. So, it’s not all bad.

Nuff said for now.

WTF is D?????? She’s been sick and I’m worried about her. Not even an email from her today.

Filed under: bipolar disorder, depression, humor, life, mania, medication, medication side effects, mental health, personal | Tagged: manic depression

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