I'm realizing some strange habits about me...well, aside from the obvious. For one, I prefer anything I drink or eat absurdly hot. I'll pour coffee straight from carafe and then microwave the cup for 40s. I think I like the added sensation of almost unbearable heat running down my throat (rather than up?).
The other habit, or perhaps recurrence, is related to the seroquel--I keep having intense, inescapable dreams without the soporific effect of the medication. I mean, I keep waking up every other hour, and what do I do? Eat. Feel guilty, but too groggy to vomit, so I go back to sleep. Fortunately I've avoided touching my brother's food in a while and limited myself to mainly "safe" foods, but still, it seriously messes with my intake and sense of control when I consistently night eat. I can't entirely blame the seroquel for causing this, however...sleep disorders are a problem on my father's side of the family, and my mother suggested I ask my psychiatrist for something other than seroquel for sedative purposes (e.g. Ambien or Lunesta). I'm hesitant because I am certain those have habit-forming potential...
when I woke up this morning when my alarm went off, my thoughts jumped to my planned bike ride, and I realized I wouldn't have time. So what did I do? I decided to go back to sleep and ended up not even going to my lab, missing a lab meeting, and basically slacking off until the late evening. I feel so guilty about the work I should be doing in my lab that I'm not. For one thing, I feel like there is nothing for me TO DO. Everyone has their set task, and I just shuffle around doing officework, little else. Oh, I ping the occasional search for an article on Delusions, but I've read most of the recent ones...
I feel like my sporadic attendance in the lab has made my professor lose faith in me, which hurts, because I always have been on good terms with professors. She'd never say or express her feelings on this matter unless it was extreme (she's culturally Korean), but if I were in her position, I would be...disappointed. What can I do?
For one thing, along with the sobriety, I should stick to the set times I made for attendance in the lab. I have seven weeks left of school, and I should really make them count. The same goes for my Cognitive psychology class. I've already lost points for attendance there (she won't accept a doctor's note!), so I should really make an effort. Oh, and as for my poetry workshop, I think I should stop being so confrontational with my professor about critiquing during workshop, then she kind of brings it upon herself for saying such stilted opinions sometimes.
Speaking of poetry workshop, I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow. Excited? Eh, I suppose. I haven't been able to write as of late, but I have some stuff filed away that I edited today that I'll show her. That'll bring my total to five for the semester, then I'll just need three more. I'm hoping for something amazing to come along in the next seven weeks. Either that or I'll be using more old stuff.
Intake was 1000 less than yesterday, however I b/ped, so I'm not certain how accurate that is. Rode my bike for about an hour, stretched thoroughly afterwards. All-in-all a good day from a food/exercise standpoint.
I really need to finish reading this chapter of a martial arts novel...
The other habit, or perhaps recurrence, is related to the seroquel--I keep having intense, inescapable dreams without the soporific effect of the medication. I mean, I keep waking up every other hour, and what do I do? Eat. Feel guilty, but too groggy to vomit, so I go back to sleep. Fortunately I've avoided touching my brother's food in a while and limited myself to mainly "safe" foods, but still, it seriously messes with my intake and sense of control when I consistently night eat. I can't entirely blame the seroquel for causing this, however...sleep disorders are a problem on my father's side of the family, and my mother suggested I ask my psychiatrist for something other than seroquel for sedative purposes (e.g. Ambien or Lunesta). I'm hesitant because I am certain those have habit-forming potential...
when I woke up this morning when my alarm went off, my thoughts jumped to my planned bike ride, and I realized I wouldn't have time. So what did I do? I decided to go back to sleep and ended up not even going to my lab, missing a lab meeting, and basically slacking off until the late evening. I feel so guilty about the work I should be doing in my lab that I'm not. For one thing, I feel like there is nothing for me TO DO. Everyone has their set task, and I just shuffle around doing officework, little else. Oh, I ping the occasional search for an article on Delusions, but I've read most of the recent ones...
I feel like my sporadic attendance in the lab has made my professor lose faith in me, which hurts, because I always have been on good terms with professors. She'd never say or express her feelings on this matter unless it was extreme (she's culturally Korean), but if I were in her position, I would be...disappointed. What can I do?
For one thing, along with the sobriety, I should stick to the set times I made for attendance in the lab. I have seven weeks left of school, and I should really make them count. The same goes for my Cognitive psychology class. I've already lost points for attendance there (she won't accept a doctor's note!), so I should really make an effort. Oh, and as for my poetry workshop, I think I should stop being so confrontational with my professor about critiquing during workshop, then she kind of brings it upon herself for saying such stilted opinions sometimes.
Speaking of poetry workshop, I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow. Excited? Eh, I suppose. I haven't been able to write as of late, but I have some stuff filed away that I edited today that I'll show her. That'll bring my total to five for the semester, then I'll just need three more. I'm hoping for something amazing to come along in the next seven weeks. Either that or I'll be using more old stuff.
Intake was 1000 less than yesterday, however I b/ped, so I'm not certain how accurate that is. Rode my bike for about an hour, stretched thoroughly afterwards. All-in-all a good day from a food/exercise standpoint.
I really need to finish reading this chapter of a martial arts novel...
-Mt