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Is THAT How You Shine Your Boots Private!

Posted Jun 05 2013 12:00am

HUHH–TENNN–SHUUUN!!!

Well, then.  Looky see, looky here.

Since you’re all marching around with Private…  AH HELL! Do I even care what his name is now?

In fact, Private Pissy Pants doesn’t even DESERVE to be a Private anymore!!! WHY?? Because his BOOTS look like they’re COVERED IN DOG SHIT!!!

So, two things.  Private Pissy Pants? You are NOW stripped of your rank until I see fit to give it back to you.  Do you know what that means, PISSY PANTS?? 

It MEANS you DO NOT KNOW what it MEANS AT ALL!!! But I will be extraordinarily generous this one and only time for you.  I will give you a hint.  IT MEANS TROUBLE!!!

The second thing? You can thank Pissy Pants for this.  Every single one of you are on Latrine Duty for a month.  Since he’s covered in dog shit? YOU GET TO CLEAN UP EVERYBODY ELSE’S SHIT!!!

Ah, yes.  One more thing before I CANNOT WAIT to dismiss you and GET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!

We just…well, it pains me to tell you this, but we’re low on supplies.  I’m sorry.  I really am.

USE YOUR OWN TOOTHBRUSHES THIS TIME!!!

DUHHH–MIIIIIISS–TUHH!!!

I hate this job.  But SOMEBODY has to do it.

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