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How to Kill a Virus Before it Kills You First

Posted May 26 2009 12:00am

Dr. PA is getting a little bit frustrated here.  This is definitely an infection as all of her disgustingly, horrific tummy issues never gave her 102 degree fevers.  It has not spread to her chest, nose or throat.  It has only wretchedly, remained in her gastrointestinal tract.

Bacterial? My own rule is to wait at least seven and up to 10 days if you can stand it.  Then, if it’s still hanging around consider it possibly bacterial.  It has now been five days and I don’t believe I am suffering any significant fever signs anymore.  I have been improving somewhat, plus, I don’t really like taking antibiotics, anyway.  I take enough, bloody pills as it is! Not to mention, some can be hard on your stomach.  Insult to injury?

My going out last night was a rather desperate and comical attempt to try to find a “remedy” to this whole madness.  When I was in Acapulco many years ago, I spent a fair amount of time at this one bar.  The man who owned it told me that, should I get sick, drink a lot of rum (not beer) and that will take care of any tummy problems! You know, the whole “Montezuma’s Revenge” thing!

Well, I didn’t have any rum but I drank some beer.  It helped.  However, only in the immediate.  I’m still sick.  Although, at least I can eat now? So, I guess I’ll just have to wait this whole thing out and see.  Plus, a lot of “Traveller’s Diarrhea” problems are bacterial in nature.  Also, I haven’t been anywhere.  Also…let’s rule out food poisoning while we’re at it.  Definitely not.

So, in drinking a bit of beer and thinking back to why it also relieved so much of my terrible, gastric distress over the last several years…why? Why would alcohol do that?

Believe me, I dug and dug and dug into “the literature” way back then and I could find nothing that would explain drinking to alleviate any sort of gastric problems.  No, no scientific research mentioning alcohol “for medicinal purposes!” *laughing*

Then I got to thinking (and this is a further oddity) after I drink, I develop a completely, uncontrollable appetite! This is from wee PA who never wants to eat! Well, maybe once in a while…  But still! It is the most, unbelievable thing! After I drink, I am starving!!!

Bearing these two factors in mind, I pondered what my gastroenterologist ended up “doing with me” for treatment.  Now, this may be a stretch…

He told me to ingest copious amounts of Bran (the addition of Milk of Magnesia came next but the Bran was enough!) I threw the Milk of Magnesia straight into the garbage after a few days of it without even telling him! Well, I told him during our next follow up. *PA laughs* It’s okay.  He was fine with my own decision for my “treatment.” Lord almighty though, with the Bran alone! It was like the cure was worse than the disease!

A hitch, though.  It couldn’t be just any Bran.  Not the stuff you get in cereals, not even Psyllium which is uber-Bran! Nope.  Whole Bran, these big, crazy flakes that wouldn’t really dissolve in water…I felt like I was some kind of farm animal, chomping them down over the kitchen sink every morning! Slowly, they were increased from one tablespoon per week to two…then did we end up to fucking four??? Ugh.

I told you.  The cure was worse than the disease.  However, it worked.  Except for the pain during my cycles where I still want to present him with my “idea.”  Go on the birth control pill.  It sounds strange but Progesterone acts as a smooth muscle relaxant so maybe pump me up with some more?

Anyway, back to the “Fields of Gold,” liquid or otherwise.  Here’s my stretch.  But I’m wrong.  I think? *PA laughs*

Now, of course we all know that there is no Bran in beer! However, I was trying to get into some sort of correlation between the other types of grains and blah, blah…even the beer making process but wait! Someone told me recently that “Bitters” (and in beer’s case “bitter hops”) can soothe stomach pain.  I also just checked and they can increase appetite as well.

I see.  So, PAs getting all “hopped up” with her beer! If the above is true, that may attract the attention of some of my readers that are into Naturopathic Therapies.  My pharmacy is very good and works both sides–they fill medical scripts but also sell all sorts of Naturopathic “Concoctions.”

Maybe I should look into some hops? I don’t like the taste of drinking Bitters.  And then maybe I won’t have to take the birth control pill.  God knows I don’t need it to avoid getting pregnant! *PA laughing so hard*

However, I have always been on the extremely wary side of Naturopathic Medicine and have written about it before.  Meaning, I am not against it.  Just ensure you are actually seeing a professional, they are not a quack and you aren’t simply reading something, somewhere and running out to the closest “Health Food Store” and buying it.  That said, I should probably take my own advice? *PA rolls eyes*

No, Dr. PA is always on call.  If she chooses, she can obtain her “hops” safely.  And wisely obtain a “second opinion,” if needed, from her staff.

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