I seem to be able to deal with my wasp phobia better these days. Back in May I was still pretty freaked out by them, although in June a hornet didn’t have much effect. A couple of things have happened recently and I’m kind of proud about how I dealt with them.
The other week I was on my way to therapy on the bus when a wasp flew in the open window. And. Landed. On. My. Hand. I was kind of surprised in an OHGODNO way. So I shook it off my hand and it flew onto my leg. I brushed it off my leg and it landed on my other leg. I brushed it off my leg, it landed on the floor and I stamped on it. Which probably made people on the bus wonder what I was doing flailing about in my seat. But I didn’t completely freak out. And I calmed down rather quickly.
Then today I was at my computer when I looked up and saw a wasp crawling on my window. This didn’t provoke the feelings of GOTTOGETAWAY that this kind of thing has in the past. I did find the need to keep it in view, but I calmly got a magazine and tried to guide it out the window. The wasp didn’t want to go, though, and it was getting angry, so I ended up swatting it. It actually tried to sting the window at this point. Then I picked it up with a bit of kitchen roll and dropped it out the window.
I don’t know how much of this new-found calmness is to do with just getting over my fear and how much is to do with managing it. It’s not something my therapist and I have talked about, though I think I mentioned it. I guess it’s parallel to the stuff I was talking about in the last post. I still feel wary about wasps and I wouldn’t have been happy to leave it to fly around in here, but I’m able to stop myself from being overwhelmed by these feelings. Given that until recently my response would have involved leaping to my feet and running to the other side of the room with the door open so I could escape if it flew at me, this is a real change. Maybe it’s just a side-effect of feeling in control of my life and feelings.
So I guess that now, I used to have a phobia about wasps.
I seem to be able to deal with my wasp phobia better these days. Back in May I was still pretty freaked out by them, although in June a hornet didn’t have much effect. A couple of things have happened recently and I’m kind of proud about how I dealt with them.
The other week I was on my way to therapy on the bus when a wasp flew in the open window. And. Landed. On. My. Hand. I was kind of surprised in an OHGODNO way. So I shook it off my hand and it flew onto my leg. I brushed it off my leg and it landed on my other leg. I brushed it off my leg, it landed on the floor and I stamped on it. Which probably made people on the bus wonder what I was doing flailing about in my seat. But I didn’t completely freak out. And I calmed down rather quickly.
Then today I was at my computer when I looked up and saw a wasp crawling on my window. This didn’t provoke the feelings of GOTTOGETAWAY that this kind of thing has in the past. I did find the need to keep it in view, but I calmly got a magazine and tried to guide it out the window. The wasp didn’t want to go, though, and it was getting angry, so I ended up swatting it. It actually tried to sting the window at this point. Then I picked it up with a bit of kitchen roll and dropped it out the window.
I don’t know how much of this new-found calmness is to do with just getting over my fear and how much is to do with managing it. It’s not something my therapist and I have talked about, though I think I mentioned it. I guess it’s parallel to the stuff I was talking about in the last post. I still feel wary about wasps and I wouldn’t have been happy to leave it to fly around in here, but I’m able to stop myself from being overwhelmed by these feelings. Given that until recently my response would have involved leaping to my feet and running to the other side of the room with the door open so I could escape if it flew at me, this is a real change. Maybe it’s just a side-effect of feeling in control of my life and feelings.
So I guess that now, I used to have a phobia about wasps.