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Posted Jul 27 2008 4:20am 2 Comments


"Now don't be a stoic about this" the doctor said to me. "Let yourself grieve you can either do it now or later" he said. "Better to do it now because if it comes later, it will be more complicated" he politely added. This was a few years ago and he was speaking in reference to my husband being diagnosed with a terminal illness. My husband, still alive and beating the odds, was only of handful of things I felt I had left. I was faced, and still am, with another loss. Just his diagnosis and accompanying chronic condition, the threat of death ever looming, and the reality that it is only time before the illness returns, cause me unthinkable sorrow. So I grieve.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't believe anyone enjoys grief. It is hard work. Grief comes when there is a change. Death, loss, illness, and piles of other things life throws at us are endless in their pursuit. We want to put grief in a box, tape it securely, and ship it off. To were I don't know. For me, there are only a few people I would wish on all I've got. (You know the stinkers who mess in your yard intentionally.)

I love the cartoon, Peanuts by the late Charles Schultz. Charlie Brown, (the male version of me) would often sigh and say, "Oh good grief." I am learning that "grief is good" it takes the sting out of the thing that has bitten me. And yes, as my doctor said, it is easier to "do it now, or if comes later it will be more complicated."

Comments (2)
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Hi, Lizzie.

Grief is healthy and helpful. Millions of people find themselves grieving over tooth loss. For some reason, people don't think of teeth as body parts,which they are and when they lose teeth they experience negative feelings and social discomfort.

Emotions range from manageable to unmanageable. It's normal... for a while. It's okay to seek help moving through the last stage of grief, which is acceptance.

Saundra at

Hi Lizzie. I'm so sorry you and your husband live with this difficulty. Certainly, he is continuing to beat the odds. I have done so myself and recovered far beyond what my doctors predicted. I did my research and used a non-conventional treatment and it worked. So today I still keep learning as much about nutrition as I can.... and I encourage you to think as positively as you can about his condition. And when you have to express grief, I'm sure your doctor is right. It is what it is. All the best.
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