Should I be surprised? Let’s toss a cycling spree into the mix of my life, now. Yesterday, I did something good? I made a tiny bit of progress? Perhaps?
Today, I woke up feeling like I didn’t care if I lived or died. At school, I felt up and was engaging in playful banter. Was I faking it? I have no clue. On the way home, I was extremely anxious, so pop a Valium/Diazepam to try and take care of that.
I’m not done yet… Recall the fact I’m an Ultradian Cycler!
While waiting for a bus, I think of some things I have to do, and whip out my binder and a pen. I start maniacally scrawling down sentences. Some for something I actually need to do, and some for…well, some really good lines that I could insert into some story I may write someday?
Walking home, I actually do something I need to do. Also, recall here, that I have had zero motivation to do anything for how long? I make an appt. with my Hair Guru. I am in desperate need of a haircut! I also need it for Clinic (which I am still terrified of starting!)
I then finally arrive home. I begin shaking and nearly burst into sobs. I am currently sitting with the most crazed expression on my face. It is so crazed, I can feel it. I don’t even have to look in the mirror!
Now, I feel like shit again. I cannot think. I’m waiting for my mind to split into two…or three…or four… Let’s see how long this lasts.