I’m continuously frustrated with my husband, and having mood swings because of that. I really think that I’m on the right medication, so the mood swings are triggered by my husband (or my reactions to him) rather than the bipolar disorder. However, I suspect that my disorder may make my emotions more pronounced.
It just seems that every time we have a conversation about his house, I get in a bad mood. We have different goals. My goal is to rent an apartment or house in the next few months, and his goal is to fix the house up so I can move back in. I don’t forsee him doing this so I have thrown up my hands. He wants me to work with him on his goal and help him with the house. I don’t want to do it because it is not my goal, the mess is too huge, and it overwhelms me and causes me to have anxiety attacks.
Part of me thinks I need to go ahead and bite the bullet and help him because he has been helping me with my bills the past few months and allowing me to spend his money on things like food and gas. I haven’t overspent, I don’t think, but I feel a little guilty that I’m using his money and not helping him. He hasn’t said anything about that, but it’s just a thought I had. Maybe I should just “play along” and help him clean up his house even though I have no intention of ever moving back in it. But then I would be angry and have a bad attitude.
So I don’t know what to do. It won’t matter for the rest of the week because I’ll be working such long hours I won’t have time to mess around at his house. Thank God for a job!
I have also been rethinking the marriage. Wondering if I made the best decision. We were in love when we got married, and are still in love, but I harbor so much resentment over his hoarding and the poor living conditions of his house that I just can’t stand it. He lives like an animal. I should take pictures and post them on here just so everyone can see I’m not lying.
In DBT I am learning about judging and I realize that my feelings about my husband come from my judgments about him. So I am trying to rephrase the judgments into non-judgmental statements. It works when I sit down and actually write them out. But I get caught back up in the cycle very easily. Like, “He lives like an animal” is a judgment. Still, one cannot ignore that the house would not pass local building code requirements and hence is not fit for living. This does pose a problem. If I focus on the facts and stop judging perhaps I can deal with it better.
I’m continuously frustrated with my husband, and having mood swings because of that. I really think that I’m on the right medication, so the mood swings are triggered by my husband (or my reactions to him) rather than the bipolar disorder. However, I suspect that my disorder may make my emotions more pronounced.
It just seems that every time we have a conversation about his house, I get in a bad mood. We have different goals. My goal is to rent an apartment or house in the next few months, and his goal is to fix the house up so I can move back in. I don’t forsee him doing this so I have thrown up my hands. He wants me to work with him on his goal and help him with the house. I don’t want to do it because it is not my goal, the mess is too huge, and it overwhelms me and causes me to have anxiety attacks.
Part of me thinks I need to go ahead and bite the bullet and help him because he has been helping me with my bills the past few months and allowing me to spend his money on things like food and gas. I haven’t overspent, I don’t think, but I feel a little guilty that I’m using his money and not helping him. He hasn’t said anything about that, but it’s just a thought I had. Maybe I should just “play along” and help him clean up his house even though I have no intention of ever moving back in it. But then I would be angry and have a bad attitude.
So I don’t know what to do. It won’t matter for the rest of the week because I’ll be working such long hours I won’t have time to mess around at his house. Thank God for a job!
I have also been rethinking the marriage. Wondering if I made the best decision. We were in love when we got married, and are still in love, but I harbor so much resentment over his hoarding and the poor living conditions of his house that I just can’t stand it. He lives like an animal. I should take pictures and post them on here just so everyone can see I’m not lying.
In DBT I am learning about judging and I realize that my feelings about my husband come from my judgments about him. So I am trying to rephrase the judgments into non-judgmental statements. It works when I sit down and actually write them out. But I get caught back up in the cycle very easily. Like, “He lives like an animal” is a judgment. Still, one cannot ignore that the house would not pass local building code requirements and hence is not fit for living. This does pose a problem. If I focus on the facts and stop judging perhaps I can deal with it better.