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From Patient Anonymous…With the Help of Aspie Penguin and Spock

Posted Mar 01 2010 12:00am

First, I would like to thank everyone for coming by and reading the posts that Aspie Penguin wrote.  They received a lot of views, so if you were checking in on me, that means a lot.  Well, more than a lot.

I did manage to make it to school today.  No, I didn’t hide under my duvet that looks like a mass of rubble; a visual form of what my thoughts were last night! My thoughts, now? Well, maybe “smaller rubble?” “Pebble rubble?” Regardless, still “better rubble?”

I’m tired.  It was stressful.  About halfway through the morning, my neck felt like rubble! I have a lovely, tension headache.  It’s alright, though.  A small price to pay for some sanity saved?

Things may have quieted down.  There seemed to be less “tension,” in the room.  However, still some.

At this point (I am still a bit shaky with this, so I can’t look too far ahead), all I am doing is ignoring everyone, and focusing only on the Instructor and the work.  I love both of them.  I am trying to take myself back to where I was before; when I was happy and excited before all of this bullshit started.

I am not engaging with anyone else in the room (apart from the Instructor), unless it is absolutely necessary.  I will continue to do so, even during Clinic Rotations, with my assigned partner.  Even though all of my life I have always cared what people think of me (to the point of completely falling apart), I must now be prepared for possible perceptions of: “cold, aloof, bitch.”

I must be selfish.  Which I never am.  I must focus upon obtaining this education strictly for myself.  If I know the answer to a question, I will give it.  If I have a question, I will ask it.  I will not (or try), to offer any solutions to others’ problems.  Also, I have excellent relationships with both the Instructor, and the School’s Operator.  These relationships include complete candour.  I will use it to my own benefit.

My relationship with the Instructor is even better.  I will use it in terms of future employment prospects, and other things that may assist me.  I am definitely going to be “selfish,” and take advantage of all she has to offer.  I am pitiful at “Networking,” but she is so enthusiastic about it all, I am hardly lifting a finger.  All I am doing, is coming up with ideas, and she is doing all of the legwork.  All I need to do is ask something of her.  I can almost see us becoming friends once this program is done!

I guess that’s it for now.  I’m still kind of fritzy about everything.  And very tired.  I’m just going to take it day by day, and I definitely need rest.  Plus, let’s not forget, Clinic Rotations start this Friday! Stress!

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