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Ebb, Flow, Calm

Posted Aug 23 2008 3:09pm
I totally understand the ebb and flow of life. I guess what I having trouble with is its timeliness and the duration.



When I think about it, the first 24 years (I'd even extend to 26 years) of my life were pretty great.



I was homeless at one point, I slept at my job, I moved a gazillion times, but all in all I was happy. Why?



It's often said that success and happiness leave clues on how to reciprocate them.



What was so special about my life prior to age 26 that isn't present now?



Well, first things that come to mind are my body and skin, and my relationship with God.



So do I now throw them in the "they change with age just accept it" category or do I rediscover the behaviors and attitudes that brought about the body and skin I was proud of THEN and incorporate them into my life NOW ?



Isn't it interesting that when I was 26 I had a 1 bedroom apartment with an ass of a bf and no car, and was happy. Now with a husband a 3 bedroom home and Mercedes I'm sad?



Well that would be to presuppose that my discontent is related only to relationships and material things. Quite the contrary. My discontent is totally about me, and that's why I look to none but me to fix it.



So then we introduce diagnoses like OCD, bipolar and eating disorders. How do they factor into the mix?



In reality, their contribution to my frustrations are not that extensive. Imho. But more on that later. Also, more on God as well.



See Part 2
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