When I was younger I had an insanely detailed approach to dating and whether someone was "fit" to date. I actually maintained a list on yellow legal paper that I followed. ( I actually still have the list, but I'll need to look for it. When I find it, I'll scan.)
Anyhoo, I followed those guidelines well into college which is probably why I think I kept relationships at bay and was able to build a pretty impressive career.
When I abandoned those guidelines, I walked smackdab into chaos.
Why? Because success has patterns.
Why? Because success leaves clues for reciprocation.
Why? Because you should stick with what works.
So if my insanely detailed list worked so well why did I stop using it?
Well, my hindsight explanation is that I assumed that defective substance was equal to defective form .
Huh, Butterfly what does that mean?
See, in my junior year of college, I started dating I guy who I thought was great. We had the perfect "Sweet Valley High" relationship:
"Intelligent, Athletic, Exotic Beauty
Handsome, Intelligent Older Jock."
In retrospect, I don't think I ever learned that my relationships could end; after all, I followed the list.
How could it end when it was so "good"?
So when it DID end, I subconsciously attributed the end of the relationship (the substance) to my faulty list (the form). I subsequently shifted to the world's approach to relationships and the result was several years of shit.
So then what?
From 2006-2007, I walked away from two relationships that people thought were "great", but I knew there was better, and I wanted better. I was tired of settling to simply "be" in a relationship. I returned to basics, and by doing so, I was led to my wonderful husband.(More on hubby later.)
So, back to reciprocating success. When I returned to my core values with relationships, I got what I wanted. So now I must return to my core values about my skin, body and God.