feeling blue and at a loss with myself. I had so many plans about what I was going to do after I started feeling well after this minor surgery. [once I found out it would not be a hysterectomy]. But somehow it took me spirroling down into a low. I lay on the couch and sleep, the phone rings, I donn't answer. My husband took three days after the surgery to take care of me and I think What a joke! I donn't think I saw him but maybe once or twice a day! Why do you continue to play this game? I know that you donn't care, I wish you would quit trying to be such a hypocrite, you may be fooling the people outside our home, but I KNOW, THE PERSON THAT MATTERS That this is all an act on your behalf. Just give it up o.k, let me go through this on my own [I am anyway] except for my daughter, and you go on and do your thing. If you want to play the good guys part for others, thats all right. But donn't stand around at the hospital waiting room while I am in surgery like you are so worried about me. We both know that you could care less. The moment you got me home and in bed, you took off and I didn't see you until bedtime. I donn't feel like playing games anymore, I may be mentally sick but I am not stupid. I can tell when someone no longer cares for me. Stop the pretense, I can make it without you. You may be trying to keep up the good guy act but you are only causing more damage than good. Find somebody that can give you what you are looking for. I donn't seam to have it anymore. Let me deal with this illness without having to deal with having to stroke someones ego too. I cann't do it anymore, I need time to learn to live with my disorder and learn how to be comfortable with it. I donn't need to always have to deal with someone that acts so concerned when others are around and causes me resentment and anger.
oh, my heart breaks for you... i went through something similar with my now ex. my son was very ill, i was coming apart at the seams, and he didn't care... only made it worse, actually. all i can really say is, thank-you for sharing, i'll hold you in the Light... you're not alone, even though it may feel like it, but you're not.