In the last couple years, I've begun to equate how much a man cares about my well being by how much he is willing to do for me financially (among other things).
I don't make as much money as I did during other periods of my life, and until such a time returns, any man in my life should take up the slack.
I was a massage-a-week, spa-a-month girl. I haven't been in a while, but any man that cares about me should know that those things make me relaxed and happy, and should ensure that I am relaxed and happy.
(DD did send me to the spa on Monday.)
It only makes sense to me: how can you say you care about me, but I'm stressed or unhappy?
It blows my mind that some women (yes, I've retired "chicks") will date a guy who is unwilling to contribute to their well being.
What is well being? - How do I get to and from work? - Am I taking the train at night? - Is there food in my fridge? - Do I have money? - Am I happy with work? - How can I make more money? - When was my last vacation? - Am I stressed? - Could I use a spa day? - How much money remains after paying bills?
This week, a friend kinda suggested that I was borderline "gold digger". So, not true. I'm not saying that every woman should do as I do, but it only makes sense.
Can't you do bad by yourself?
How can I date a man that won't give or repay my cab fare to get to him? How can I date a man who is ok with me taking the train at 10pm? How can I date a man that wants me to stay over, but doesn't care if I have food? How can I date a man who wants me to go out, but doesn't care if I have clothes to go?
How can I date a guy who wants me happy and perky, but won't discuss or research being bipolar?
How can I date a man that knows about "bipolar", but does nothing to alleviate my stress?
How can I date a man who's interest ends at "what time are you coming over"?
I'm all for an adult relationship. Adult is recognizing that I can do it on my own, but as a man in my life, your role is to ensure that I am worry-free. I'm so past being the (trumpets on)New Millenium Independent Woman(trumpets off). I've always been old fashion relative to male/ female roles. I have the "women-tend-to-the-home, men-work-and-take-of-home" mindset.
Still, my father would do anything for me. Why the hell am I with a man who merely wants to sleep with me?For what?
Sex is so overrated.
Shortly into our relationship The Italian gave me an Amex to ensure that if he was unable to get to me, I would always have access money. He told me upfront that I should use my money for important things. He took care of rent, hair, nails and spa.
Adult was him knowing how much money I made, realizing that he made much more, and that he had the disposable income to ensure that I wanted for nothing.
Hey, this isn't for everyone, but it is life as the Butterfly.
Grateful that I am so past deluding myself on what is important to ME.