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ok Im going to try and keep this as short as poss!

I haven't officially been diagnosed bipolar-had numerous problems with nhs over the years but won't go in to that.It was a short consultation with a private psych who said I had a 'mood disorder' he touched on bp but not really going into detail.

My moods are up and down like a yo yo,I can be depressed to the point of suicidal (recent overdoses) which can last varying amounts of times at LEAST two weeks normally.I can also feel over happy,over excitable,I feel like I need to talk and feel like Im talking more than usual but don't act know if I am.When I get like this Its like everything has to be done NOW even if theres nothing to do its like my brain is sparking-thats the only way I can describe.occassionally I have had very 'odd moments' a a coup]le of times was when I was in a general psych unit,the tv souded like it went really loud and everything was crystal clear like HD and I was noticing the tiniest little tihings that I wouldn't normally and thinking how fantastic it was.I remember looking at my diary which had lots of bright coloured jelly beans on it wondering why I hadn't noticed it before and If I looked at it long enough it'd 'give me the answers',there was another time I was outside and was looking at the street lamps,I was again feeling strange and I went off on a complete tangent in my head about how beautiful they were and the stars should be like that then we would see them all time and I  wonder if there was a way it could be done etc etc etc. once when I was at home I became competely convinced that there was evil molecules on everything so I didnt touch anything and cried scared to death, and took 3 lorazepam to send me to sleep.Then another time I started thinking the same sort of way (I am not in any way religious) and remember thinking that everything needed to be cleansed an advert came on the tv for a film and I just remember an actor syaing 'the gods aren't happy' it was like it had been shown at that moment just for me and I panicked and didn't know what I was supposed to do,I felt like these 'gods' wanted my blood (I know this sounds crazy and I feel so silly typing it) I ended up making crosses out of masking tape and sticking them all round my front room I was reallly shaking,not out of fear but it was kind of like adrenaline/anxiety,I did this and my brain just felt like It was spinning.I had bought a new tooth brush and went to open it and I cut my finger,at this point it was a clear sign to me that these 'gods' wanted my blood so I then put a bit on each of the crosses that I had made (I hate talking abt this it sounds like something from a horror film but I'm after some advice)the most recent has been that I had been feeling a mixture of happiness and extreme agitation and being irritable and snappy for about 2 weeks I was sitting watching tv and again it seemed to go really bright like I was having to squint,so I turned it off.I was then completely drawn to the 2 red lights on the cd player and noticed 3 more on different appliances.my brain started going off on the whole 'what sign am I being given here?' tangent again and it just esculated It felt as though my head was going to explode with amount of things running through it.I got really agaitatedted and was trying to work out what it all meant.I went for a walk got really frustrated and hit a tree numerous times and cut all my knuckles.the next day it was still ticking at the back of my mind that this all meant something-why red lights?why 5?sooo many questions and tangents.I ended up looking up meaning of the number 5 and the colour red which alot came back being of a religious nature,resulting in me collecting 5 red items and putting them in a box as I wasn't sure what else to do.but to me confirmed that there was something going on.But at the same time it was like I was arguing with myself telling myself not to be stupid but I couldn't shake it.I wasn't sure what to believe.These 'odd moments' have lasted a max of 3 days but Its not as if everyone can see most of it goes on in my head which makes me wonder if its anything at all?these things usually happen after a period of me being happy and excitable or irritable,agitated  and not having much sleep.

Then I will go completely the other end and my mood will drop.sometimes it feels like Im depressed and restless at the same time and thats really annoying.some of the  'odd moments' have been nice and enjoyable but mostly very frustrating.

I am seeing a private mood disorder specialist on the 28th aug who I am hoping can give me some insight but I was wondering if I could poss get any feed back off here?there's lots more but Ive tried to keep it as short as poss!\

thanks