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Depression

Posted Sep 11 2008 8:46pm

Rob is angry now that his depression is not going away. He blames it on me because I keep nixing his Adderall plans. Yesterday was not a good day, we couldn't bear to be near each other so I let him get away with watching the Japanese cartoons with English subtitles, and counted that as "schooling". He's sick and tired of being depressed - it's been over a month now, and the Wellbutrin does not seem to be helping as much as we had hoped. I told him the doc will probably increase the dosage. He wants to ditch all the meds and just take something that "makes it go away". I tried to talk to him about how sometimes the meds stop working, and said how lucky he was that the first meds he tried helped him alot for over 9 months. I explained again how it takes some time to tweak before a new med will help. He does not want to hear it, he just wants to feel better, right now. I can understand that. He has another pdoc appointment next week.

Yesterday, Todd was also depressed. Todd's dx is major depressive disorder. I'm not that familiar with the unipolar depression, but in his case it seems his mood can just bottom out in a minute. I was painting in his room (this is taking forever!), and when I went to call him to take a look I couldn't find him anywhere. He and his smokes and his shoes were gone. The last time we had talked to his pdoc, she advised me to keep his meds under lock and key because he could not be trusted, with his history it would definitely be a possibility that he would try suicide again. I could not bring myself to treat him like a child that way, but when we talked about it he said he would never do anything to himself in my house. If he would try it again he would leave and go to the lake.

So when I couldn't find him yesterday, I got in my car and drove toward the lake. I spotted him walking along the street that runs along the lake. I rolled the car window down and said, "Oh hello." He asked what I was doing, and I told him I was looking for him. He said he was just going for a walk. He seemed fine, so I went back home.

When he came home, I told him he scared the shit out of me, and he could have at least said something before he left. He said there was no beach access, but have I seen the new house that was built on the cliffs above the shore?

I have a toothache. The ibuprofen is not helping anymore. Guess I should have done something about it when my filling fell out a year ago. Yet another doctor appointment to schedule.

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