Well I went out last night but was well behaved and didn’t have too much to drink and was pretty sensible. It’s amazing how I can manage to pull it out of the bag sometimes moodwise as noone really seemed to notice anything was up, although I was still quite sleepy while I was out. I think they put it down to the fact I stood 45 minutes freezing my bum of at the bus stop to go down to theirs, theirs when we decided to just meet in town the minute I left the bus stop the bus drove past, typical!
In other annoyances aside from buses my placement letter didn’t get there so I’ve had the huge hassle of phoning around trying to find out when I start, where I am supposed to be and who my educator is.
I get a long lie on my 1st day….wait for it….9am!!! The normal hours are 8.30 to 4.30 I think. Basically I am going to die. There’s no way I can do those hours day in day out for 6 weeks with the additional stresses of being assessed and having a heap of coursework to complete at the same time. I have a hospital appointment in half an hour so I guess after seeing how that goes I can come home and stress about placement. Oh yeah did I mention I have no idea what working with acute stroke patients involves?! Oh well.
So I went to see the consultant and I ended up reluctantly agreeing to an increase in medication, I am now going to be up at the maximum level. Joy. Why does nobody believe I am actually taking the meds. Conversations with medical staff generally go: Them: Are you taking your meds Me: Yes Them: Are you sure? Me: Yup Them: Religiously? Me: Yeeees (and internally “For fucks sake why does noboady believe me??)
I’m going to see the psychologist for the 1st time next week, although I get the distinct feeling the consultant thinks I won’t show. It is a possibility but really I don’t have anything to lose by going, apart from an hour of my life. I’m not sure whether I’m in the right place to actually gain any benefits from it but I guess I shall giv it my best try. It’s just unfortunate that I will have had a 3 hour lecture beforehand and the way things are going it’s likely I will be dead on my feet trying desperately to keep my eyes open.
My achievements for the day so far are: Dragged myself out of bed (albeit about 1.30pm) Showered Got dressed Put washing in tumbledrier Put new washing in washing machine Sent a couple of emails Made a phonecall to sort out the mess that is placement. Trecked to appointment Visited friend on ward for a bit Put dinner in the oven.
All in all that’s more then a little pathetic given that I’m not really depressed just a little tired and fed-up.