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Communicate with Your Bipolar Supporter

Posted Jun 15 2010 12:00am

Having bipolar disorder , there are times that my mood does shift, sometimes without my say-so.  That doesn’t mean that I’m going in and out of episodes, just that even with medication, I still do have mood swings once in awhile.

Sometimes I have a bad bipolar day, and I just want to be left alone.  Usually, and only because we’ve been together so long, my husband knows to just leave me alone when I’m like that.

But sometimes on days like that, I want to be held and reassured that everything is ok, and I expect him to just know that, to hold me and tell me that everything’s ok, etc.  The problem is that I don’t tell him.  Then I get mad at him for not doing it.  Now, how fair is that?

I can’t just expect him to know something if I don’t communicate that expectation or need.  I have to tell him what  I want or need – after all, he isn’t a  mindreader, and neither is your bipolar supporter.

We can get so caught up with our disorder that we come to expect that our supporters can just read our minds and just know what we need without our telling them, and that is wrong on our parts, but it does happen.  We have to keep the lines of communication open. 

We have to try harder to express our thoughts and feelings to them.  Like I was saying, if it’s a bad bipolar day, they have a right to know that, and we should tell them, not just expect them to automatically assume that by the way that we’re acting. 

They care about us, and naturally want to do what they can to make us feel better, even if that does mean leaving us alone to work it out ourselves (but we need to express that to them, if that is the case).

If we want them to hold us, or talk to us, or listen to us, or tell us everything is going to be ok, or whatever the need is, we need to communicate that need to our bipolar supporters. 

Like I said before, they are not mindreaders (as much as we assume they are sometimes) – they only know what we tell them.  And it is up to us to tell them.

Sometimes, unfortunately, because of our bipolar disorder, we can come to take our supporters for granted. 

We get so caught up in our own thoughts and feelings, especially when they’re negative, that we don’t want to bother anyone else with them, and/or we think we can handle them on our own, forgetting that’s what got us into trouble in the first place!

So we need to keep good communication going with our bipolar supporters, even if it means extra effort on our part, which it very well does mean sometimes, especially when we don’t feel like it, especially when we’re having a bad bipolar day.  They deserve to know.

We have to remember that they’re on our side, which it is sometimes hard to remember when we’re fighting the dragon, that tricks us into believing we’re all alone in this.  We have to remember that we’re not! 

We do have people who love and care about us and want us to get better!  We just have to tell them what we want and need from them in order for them to help us.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,


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