What about that title, eh? You’d think I was having a good day, right? Well, I wasn’t. I was actually having a bad bipolar day. That’s what I call them anyway.
Not those days when nothing goes right, everyone has those (bipolar disorder or not).
But one of those days when I just had a bad attitude, and needed an attitude adjustment real bad.
But I only live with my husband (who is too kind to do it), and I work from home (with a boss who doesn’t see me, so he can’t do it), rarely go out (so how’s a stranger going to do it?), and my mom lives in Florida (now, she would definitely do it!).
And it was not a therapist day, because of course, she would do it in a heartbeat (that’s her job)!
So here I was, with this nasty bad attitude. And wouldn’t you know it, but it was one of those storybook fairy tale days, too — sun shining, birds singing, etc. I was waiting for Prince Charming and Cinderella to come knocking at my door any time to spoil my rotten day!
Someone once told me that you can start your day over any time you want to.
What they didn’t tell me was that it’s a matter of choice.
For awhile, I chose to stay in my bad mood. To wallow in my self-pity and negative attitude.
Now who was I hurting except myself? And no one around to see me, either. So what was there to gain? Except to be a bad influence on my poor puppy, who just looked at me with those sad hound eyes… but what could she do, either?
I had to make a choice to change my attitude. Not much of a choice, really, because I want to stay stable with my bipolar disorder.
You do know that going too long with negativity in your bloodstream can lead to depression, which can lead to a bipolar depressive episode, don’t you? Ok, so it’s not in your bloodstream, but it is in your emotions, and it will still lead the same place.
The point is that we do have control over our negative and positive emotions, just like we can choose to change our attitudes. Which… can change what kind of day we have!
So, eventually… after arguing with myself long enough… I gave up my bad attitude, exchanged it for a good one, and lo and behold… my day changed into a better one, saving both my sanity and my stability with my bipolar!
This doesn’t happen very often to me because I’m usually a positive person, but I need to remember this lesson for those “bad bipolar days” that just seem to spring up out of nowhere just to bug me, ya know? Where I get in a bad mood for no reason at all, and my attitude becomes a negative one.
Always remember that you have a choice in how you react to things.