Well, I wasn’t even sure I’d have anything to write today, but then I went to my therapist :)
They always have a way of using up that hour even though you think you have nothing to talk about, don’t they?
We were talking about that seminar I went to a few weeks ago and how I thought I hadn’t made it at first, but then found out I did. We discussed how I’d felt in between, and how I didn’t feel good.
She brought up the point that I could have felt proud of myself for just having gotten that far, whether I had “passed” or not (even though I ended up passing anyway), but I told her that is hard for me, since I set such high standards for myself.
So, needless to say, we are going to work on that at our next session. LOL
But it brought up a good point about bipolar disorder. What about setbacks? I mean, we all have them.
It’s what we do about them that counts.
I once heard it said that what proves a man’s character is not whether he fails, but whether he fails to get up.
That’s kind of how I see a setback when it comes to bipolar disorder. It’s not realistic to think that we’ll never have another episode. Even the most stable person with the disorder will have an episode sometime during the rest of their life — it’s the nature of the beast (or the dragon, as I call it).
But we don’t have to let it defeat us.
Remember the saying, “Whatever doesn’t kill us, just makes us stronger.” We have an incurable disease, but we do not have a fatal disease like cancer. And we can defeat it by managing it properly with medication and therapy, as well as our own self-care.
I used to think that if I did all the right things (in other words, if I was perfect — there goes that sense of perfection again), I could keep from having bipolar episodes. WRONG!
There are some things that we can’t control. The fact that we have a brain disease is one of those things.
There will be times when the dragon will decide to just rear up its ugly head and flare fire out its nostrils, and it has nothing to do with what we’ve done or not done! It just happens.
Bipolar setbacks will happen. But it’s ok. What matters is what we do about it.
It’s only a failure if we fail to get back up, remember? So we get back up and keep doing the things we need to do to get and stay stable.
NOTE: I am not saying to be on guard constantly waiting for a setback, please don’t misunderstand me. I am only saying that it’s ok if they do happen to you.