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another bad day

Posted by searching

woke up with a migraine, couldn't stand to open my eyes, sick at my stomach, finally managed to stumble upstairs where it is almost completely dark because I have dark curtains hung from where I worked nights slept on and off throught the day and would wake up due to the pain.  Finally in early night, it had eased off enough that I could stand the light and I wondered down stairs, only to  be told I would not have enough of one kind of medicine to last me until my next appointment.  Great!  And with surgery coming up too!  I am sure I will handle that well.  Husband admitted he lost prescription and they will not replace it, not his fault, but I have to have meds,  have to figure out solution.  if there is one.  Life goes on.
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Sound like you have a serious condition going on within your body! Are you able to sleep at night? What are your enegy levels at? E-mail me if you would like to talk more. I'm a health and wellness coach with a company located in AZ.  My personal e-mail is
Another bad day? My bad days started a week ago. I asked my husband (not good about me and bipolar) he read a little and said it was no good. Later I asked him if he would take away my debit card and checks next time he realizes I 'm heading towards mania. He was furious and started ranting about our finances and how I was to blame. I asked him to be queit, which meant nothing. He told me that the elders of my faith had asked him how I was doing. He told them that I scream every day. If I say it's sunny out agree even if it's raining. I am so ashamed.I don't recall screaming since I went on Lamitril. I went to a friends house for 3 nights. When I came home, he started in. When he was done telling me all the rotten things I do, I asked him what he has done wrong. Nothing.
I donn't scream,  I hardly talk to my husband.  I guess I could be compared to a piece of furniture.  Most of the time, when I am around my husband I am nonexistant, he has done so much damage that i have built a wall that I donn't think he can ever break down.   About 4 yrs. ago I tried to commit suicide, he was sitting beside me, as I sat there and took one pill after another, after a while he got up and went to bed.  I kept taking pills.  About two in the morning I called my councelor and told him I wanted to die, he talked to me for a long time but after I hung up I took more pills.  When my husband got up the next morning he realized somthing was wrong and took me to the hospital.  I spent a wk. in the phyc. ward.  The day I left as I was getting in the car my husband looked at me and said   [ we donn't have to tell anyone about this ,do we?]  It was at that moment I realized how ashamed he was of me.  
I'm sorry about that. The general idea is that it's the one with bipolar is  miserable and unable to talk in a civil manner. I look in to getting my own place. I found a lovely place. I wish I had gone at the time. Those 3 days I spent with a friend, the pain in my stomach  went away. My husband will not change. I still can't leave, I guess I'm too afraid to be on my own after 40yrs.  Anyone feel the same way?
I know that I will never leave, I guess it's because it's because I'm afraid I cann't make it on my own either.  I am afraid I will end up the crazy woman they find dead 3 or 4 days later  if I donn't stay.  That's funny isn't it, you really donn't want anyone close to you, but you donn't want to be alone.  I guess that's why we are diagnosised as mentally ill.
Hi. all you great women.I'm finally have found a website that is for me, and this is it. I also want to say to Searching that I'm sorry I started off ranting about myself. My sister-in-law has terrible mygraines. My husband gets a mild mygraine once in while now. He used to sometimes lay on the  floor in the bathroom with a blanket over his head, when he wasn't throwing up. So while I haven't had a migraine,I do know it is bad, bad, bad. At least I don't have migraines to deal with. Hope you feel better.
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