A few days ago I managed to trigger a hypomania with coffee and a hangover from a beer. It was a good test case for abilify’s mania management. And it worked. It didn’t blow open into a full blown mania. Rather, it’s kept me mildly hypomanic so that I feel good, but not in a delusional way or with massive thoughts of grandeur. It’s kept me mellow and happy instead. A major advantage that I’ve found is that it’s kept my sleep cycle in check. Often, when I’m manic, like most people, I sleep a lot less. This is a wonderful feeling, but it’s still sleep deprivation and my mind starts to wane with only a few hours of sleep each night. Lack of sleep also worsens my mania by undermining my impulse control a few days into sleep deprivation. It’s kept my sharp, active, and combined with the behavioral activation practices that I employed yesterday, highly productive without stopping for anything in between.
Over all, abilify has just chilled me out. It’s rounded off the time in which I swing, so that I’m not flip flopping moods in a matter of an hour or two, so I have more time to prepare and analyze where I’m headed. By keeping my moods in check, I also have massively increased focus and productivity. I still seem to be distracted easily, and I love stories, but I find that any story will do. Right now I’m addicted to Star Trek Voyager (reliving my childhood in the process). But in the times off from watching it, I get a lot done. I’ve been able to right and research a 10 page paper in a single 5 hour sitting. I’m still not happy with it, but it’s good enough in my opinion. It’s condensed, quick, and to the point, which is good enough (though I could go on for page after page if I really could get into it).
An odd thing is cropping up in my mood journal though. I’m generally more self sufficient and do not need to interact with people. I withdraw more into my mind and am very happy there. I like not having to interact with people and spending days at home doing things that I want to do without other people is incredibly satisfying. I don’t fear talking to other people, I’d just rather not and instead do it on my own. Though, agitation and anxiety are at an all time low, so that’s a good sign.
In the end, after 1 month, I’ve been restored to moderate to high functionality considering the rapid cycling and extremes of my moods. I’m still not functional in the way that normal people are, but I’ll take my eccentricities any day over normality.
Philosophy, Science, Bipolar I, and Life
A few days ago I managed to trigger a hypomania with coffee and a hangover from a beer. It was a good test case for abilify’s mania management. And it worked. It didn’t blow open into a full blown mania. Rather, it’s kept me mildly hypomanic so that I feel good, but not in a delusional way or with massive thoughts of grandeur. It’s kept me mellow and happy instead. A major advantage that I’ve found is that it’s kept my sleep cycle in check. Often, when I’m manic, like most people, I sleep a lot less. This is a wonderful feeling, but it’s still sleep deprivation and my mind starts to wane with only a few hours of sleep each night. Lack of sleep also worsens my mania by undermining my impulse control a few days into sleep deprivation. It’s kept my sharp, active, and combined with the behavioral activation practices that I employed yesterday, highly productive without stopping for anything in between.
Over all, abilify has just chilled me out. It’s rounded off the time in which I swing, so that I’m not flip flopping moods in a matter of an hour or two, so I have more time to prepare and analyze where I’m headed. By keeping my moods in check, I also have massively increased focus and productivity. I still seem to be distracted easily, and I love stories, but I find that any story will do. Right now I’m addicted to Star Trek Voyager (reliving my childhood in the process). But in the times off from watching it, I get a lot done. I’ve been able to right and research a 10 page paper in a single 5 hour sitting. I’m still not happy with it, but it’s good enough in my opinion. It’s condensed, quick, and to the point, which is good enough (though I could go on for page after page if I really could get into it).
An odd thing is cropping up in my mood journal though. I’m generally more self sufficient and do not need to interact with people. I withdraw more into my mind and am very happy there. I like not having to interact with people and spending days at home doing things that I want to do without other people is incredibly satisfying. I don’t fear talking to other people, I’d just rather not and instead do it on my own. Though, agitation and anxiety are at an all time low, so that’s a good sign.
In the end, after 1 month, I’ve been restored to moderate to high functionality considering the rapid cycling and extremes of my moods. I’m still not functional in the way that normal people are, but I’ll take my eccentricities any day over normality.