I have read some version of the following recipe for misery in several places. One thing I wonder is whether or not pain and misery are the same thing. Many things are painful. Many things are hard. But I wonder if misery is not the way we explain our pain.
If you are miserable or struggle with misery you might consider how much the following is true of you.
When there is a problem or there is pain in your life do you:
Personalize it. Believe that it happened because of some trait or thing about you. Does it happen because you are stupid, lazy, foolish, impulsive, mean, immoral, always seeking attention etc. etc etc. The question is whether or not life is a product of who you are or the situations you find yourself in. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Miserable people tend to believe they are cursed and often the curse is themselves.
Generalize it. Believe that because of the way you are things will always mess up. The future is just the failure that hasnt happened yet. It doesnt matter how hard you try, what you try, or what you try to learn. You will find your limitations drowning you at every opportunity.
Catastrophize it. Everything is screwed up and will always be screwed up. Hope is illusion and grounded in deceit. It is the refuge of the foolish. The only sensible thing is depression, sadness, and misery.
I have read some version of the following recipe for misery in several places. One thing I wonder is whether or not pain and misery are the same thing. Many things are painful. Many things are hard. But I wonder if misery is not the way we explain our pain.
If you are miserable or struggle with misery you might consider how much the following is true of you.
When there is a problem or there is pain in your life do you: