I’ve been feeling a little depressed this weekend; a little weepy and melancholy and I don’t know why. I feel both overwhelmed and bored at the same time. Like I want to do something but I don’t know what to do. And irritated because people always want me to do things that I don’t want to do. My medication is fine, I think, and no reason for change. I’m on the right dose for sleep at night. Maybe the Invega needs to be increased; but I want to be careful since it’s an antipsychotic. I don’t do well with anti-depressants either.
I’m worried about the work situation mainly I think. And I thought I would enjoy the time off, but instead I have to help my husband with his work. He has so much to do, and it overwhelms me to help him. I am fine with the landscaping work but the other part that he has to do is clearing out junk. He has a store and three properties plus a storage shed that need to be cleaned up this month. It’s a lot of stuff. I really hate junk. I spend a lot of time piddling when I help him because I really don’t know what to do with it. It would be easy if we were just loading it up to take to the dump; but he doesn’t want to do that. He wants to keep it all to sell at auction but the problem is he has no place to store it. He started crowding up the house with it, and now says he is going to put the rest in the yard! It’s crap. Old magazines, old dirty well-used toys, a few dishes, nothing valuable. Stuff nobody wants unless they collect junk like he does.
Anyway, the house is so junked up now that we can’t even fix it up to move into it. We will have to move all that stuff before we even begin work on the house. Whereto? Who knows? He won’t pay for storage. So it looks like we will continue to pay rent and mortgage indefinitely because we can’t live in the house.