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22:54 – Still so ill :-(

Posted Aug 19 2012 6:05pm

I am horribly ill at the moment and it’s driving me mad. The amount of medications I am on is simply ridiculous. The antibiotics are giving me constant stomach pain and making me run to the toilet every five minutes (sorry TMI!) I am loaded with the cold again, only got rid of it a couple of weeks ago. All I want to do is sleep as when I’m awake I just sneeze and have gone through a whole toilet roll so far today with my snotty nose.

So my head is feeling emotionally screwed up, ill with the cold, my stomach hurts, I’m withdrawing off Citalopram, I’m dealing with a urine/kidney infection…. it’s all blah.

I just want to feel better again, if just one of them would piss off I’d be a much happier bunny. I’m on the antibiotics for a week, I was supposed to go back to a&e today to get the burns on my stomach looked at but I just didn’t have the energy to go anywhere. I managed to take the dogs a walk and that’s been about it. I’m battling with a lot of self harm thoughts at the moment but determined not to act upon them, that would just be another shitty thing to have to deal with.

Instead I am trying to focus on taking all my medications, resting, trying to get better so I can start looking forward to my Uni course again. I hate being ill it makes me very grumpy and I just don’t want to be around anyone or have anyone in my space. So it gets a bit lonely but hopefully I will wake up tomorrow at least with the cold calmed down a bit and not sneezing/blowing my nose every five minutes. I am going to look like Rudolph tomorrow I’ve blown it that many times today.

So yeah, everything is feeling rather crappy at the moment. It’s not been the best of weekends, in fact the past few days have been rather shit. I am running out of things to do to distract myself so as it’s now past 11pm I think I will just try and sleep again.

New day, new week tomorrow. Nothing much planned for it as I’ve very little money at the moment but will hopefully manage to meet up with best friend at some point or maybe go for lunch with Mum on Tuesday when she’s off work. I don’t get anymore money until Thursday and have literally got like £2 left in my purse, but have bought in food etc to keep me going until then.

Sorry for such a negative post, lets hope tomorrow is a better day.

 

P.S. I just thought I’d randomly mention that this was my 630th post and wordpress’ little quote for me was:

“Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.”

Marsha Norman


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