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20:47 – Xmas Presents, Bags Of Love (and a bit of a moan!)

Posted Aug 23 2011 3:55pm

Yes you did read the title correct. It is August and I am indeed talking about Christmas pressies! There is a good reason for that though; I was shown a site today called Bags Of Love  and they have some super cool gifts. It’s a company that make personalised gifts from your photo’s and as I have about 500 photos on my laptop that do nothing but sit in files I thought this would be a really cool idea for Xmas presents. They make wall canvas’s, cushions, blankets, photo montage’s, cards, books… and loads more. They even have them all for special occasions as well which is pretty cool! So now I’m a happy bunny as I have found a place for all my filed photos and can give people some really cool memories as xmas pressies! If you want to check them out I’ve put a link about half way down the page on the right hand side. I think the site is really cool!

(Yes I DOOO know it’s only August, but always be prepared right?!)

Anyways, I haven’t done much today, I took the dogs a really long walk as I don’t feel as though I’ve had much fresh air the past few days and felt like I had some energy I needed to burn off. Most of the day I’ve sat on facebook playing the three games I rotate between: Gardens Of Time, Sims Social and Happy Hospital. Yes I know, I need to get a life!

I’m managing to have a nice sober evening watching some television and trying to let the horrible thoughts just drift over my head but it’s very difficult. That’s why I’m trying to distract myself further by having the TV on in the background and writing this at the same time. But my concentration is pretty poor at the moment and I keep finding myself being swept along with the bad thoughts and zoning out a lot.

I try to fight and challenge the very low thoughts, when I run out of fight I try and let them just pass through my mind, in one side and out the other.. but it’s hard.. fighting them zaps me of my energy and leaves me feeling worn out if not exhausted. I try not to think about them but my mind is constantly on guard just waiting on them to start again. They distress me and I start getting really worried that I’m heading backwards instead of forwards. But I just need to keep on plodding along getting through each day one by one.

I was supposed to see my psychologist on Friday the 12th but I forgot about it. I was then given another one for Friday the 19th and I missed it as well. I don’t feel like I can do compassionate mind right now. I know I should be giving it a shot, and I know that it was all making good sense over those first few sessions, but it’s just so opposite right now to how I feel towards myself. I should go back, I should phone her, some days though it just feels like one step forward and two steps back. Always in the minus and never the plus. How very pessimistic I know.

On the up side I had a visit from the kitchen planning people, the housing association who I rent my flat from are having new gas central heating and new kitchens put in for everyone, hopefully all will be in place and finished before Xmas. I got to choose which colours I’d like my work surface and cupboards (and even the handles!) and they printed me out a picture of how it’s all going to look. Really looking forward to that as my kitchen is pretty dated looking!

OK, enough of the moaning now! Go have a nosey on Bags of Love and get inspired by all the cool things you can do with your countless amount of photo’s just sitting inside your computer dying to get out!!

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