I accepted my son a long time ago for who he is, what he is and how he is. You see I love my son and my children unconditionally. If I was to want to cure him, than surely I’d have a condition of my love for him.
Luca is a happy 3 year old, stubborn, wilful little boy. He has no speech; he has sensory processing disorder and ADHD on top of his autism.
I long to hear Luca’s first words and I pray every day that I will someday. It will probably be one of the most wonderful days of my life. I say probably because I don’t know if it will. You see I have my children’s weddings, the birth of my grand children and all of the typical stuff to look forward to, that yes you think will be the best day of your life also. So it will be one of the best days of my life for sure.
Luca will talk some day I’m certain of this, it is coming, am I in a hurry, NO I am not. You see if I rush him, force him, or try and drag the words from him, he might not like talking, he might associate talking with cruel taught’s and tricks for treats, with force and against his will, he might decide he preferred it when he was silent, and resort back to that time. You see Luca has feelings just like me and you, he has memories and he has taught’s just like you and me. I don’t want him to think it is required that he speaks, that it is a condition I have of him. I want to him to find his words in his own time, realise for himself that he can use his voice; I want him to enjoy finding it and expressing it and himself. I will praise every attempt, I will help him and assist in programmes he needs to follow, but I will never force him or rush him.
Would I like to cure his sensory processing needs? Again hard to answer, you see his senses work differently to ours, they cause his body to feel, hear, taste, smell and work differently to ours. Would I like to make his sensory processing needs easier for his body to handle, yes I would, and Occupational Therapy will help with this, and me assisting with the programmes again made for Luca will encourage this, and is helping him so much. But cure it, no I would not, as no one has a body that works perfectly, everyone will have different sensory issues to every one else, this is what makes us unique, stupid but yet simple example: some might love the smell of poison perfume, I hate it, it almost makes me pass out, how boring would it be if we all liked the same smell, tastes, god I couldn’t imagine living like that. I love deep pressure and massages, my husband hates it, he is super ticklish as is Ky, my self and Luca are not, Ryli is somewhere in the middle. I love garlic; DH hates it, I love swimming, DH loves walking. We are all different to each other and its annoying at times but interesting.
Do I fear for Luca in the future, I simply can not answer that either as I do not know what the future will bring? I have no idea what way Luca will be in 2 4 or 6 years time let alone as an adult. For all I know, the world will be half / half. Half the population could be non typical, and half typical. Do I think Autism will be more acknowledged, accepted and in some cases appreciated, yes I do, if we have all of what we have now for our children, if we keep fighting and making our selves heard in our fight for improvements, resources and therapies, can you imagine what we will have for our children in the future. If we educate people enough on our children, their condition, and what way their mind’s work, at least we put information out there. If they don’t listen, so be it, but we said it, who knows if although they might think what you said is ridiculous or untrue, you can be sure they will say it to someone else who will say it to someone else etc etc
Therapy and intervention is the key to unlocking our children’s potential, what ever it may be. With this they will learn life skills, social skills and learn at a pace they can cope with. No one in this world is perfect, at least not in my eyes, so why should I want my children to be perfect. I see people crave perfection, take the celebrities. They are already pretty, but they have a need to be perfect, they get a new nose, face lift, put crazy shit into their lips and come out looking like a pit bull who got stung on the mouth by a wasp. They do so much irreversible damage by craving perfection. If that’s what perfection can do to you, I know I’m happy being just who I am, soooo not perfect.
I don’t agree with a lot of ABA methods when teaching our Autistic children, but I wouldn’t argue with a parent that did. I do not think the gluten diet or casein free diet is a cure for Autism but if a parent wants to go that route, I would not argue with that. I do not think bio chemical treatments, and electronic wave treatments, swimming with dolphins etc etc will lead to a cure for autism, but if that’s what people want to do, go ahead as I am not in any position to know, say or educate otherwise. I only know what I know from my own children, I can only speak on behalf of my own children.
Would I cure them, no I would not as I am happy going on this journey with them, learning from them, experiencing the world differently through their eyes and guidance. The Autistic world isn’t that scary, in fact I sometimes envy it’s simplicity.
It’s a nice world at times, I think of it as a different country, they speak a foreign language to me, but yet I have learned and can remember a lot of the language, its just this is a different dialect, I can catch most of it but some I cannot, but I try, I go over it in my head and imagine it’s meaning. I could be wrong completely, but at least I tried to translate it and figure it out, better than staying lost and ignorant to it. I’d like to holiday in autism land and learn their language. I’d like to take some of their culture and use it in my own day to day living.
There is a lot we can learn form them, like how to chill out more and take a time out, how to stay ignorant to mess and not worry so much about being so clean and tidy. To be selfish and just refuse to comply with someone else just because I want to. To loose my voice for a week or 2 and be able to be silent and not have to communicate with anyone but myself. I would like to incorporate a lot of that into my own self, I long for the day that I can be as blunt and ignorant as I want to be, if I do not like someone, simply say, I don’t like you, oh to be that direct and not care about it afterwards. I would love to be able to tell a smelly person just that, that they smell, go take a bath as you stink. Can you imagine being able to be that direct and not care? Maybe than the world would be less bitchy, or maybe gun rates and murders would be up, who knows :0) I don’t know but I sure do have a lot of respect for the Autistic frame of mind sometimes.
Whilst I am not sure there is a 100% cure for autism there are effective treatments other than drugs. Some of these treatments can be beneficial to parents and carers as well as the children. We have found that Yoga can really make a difference and commissioned an independent report to find out more, there are so many types of Yoga we felt it important to identify which might work best and why it would benefit children – If you are interested you might like to tale a look at http://www.autisminformationservice.com/specialreport.html which gives a lot more information. I hope this might be of interestKindest RegardsBill