One of my colleagues – himself a devoted dad – says its like he missed a whole week of his kids
It is so very true especially in the way I travel
I compartmentalize to the nth degree – this is sort of easy because R does not like to talk on the phone and DH is too busy with building a garden shed to talk !
Random things disturb my equilibrium from time to time - Dandelions on the road side, a neat row of Sprite at the focus group facility that I know would make R swoon with delight, someone ordering a pork chop- this one makes me miss DH quite terribly for the man loves his pork
( Work, chores and Floortime -do not allow for much only-us time between me and DH – except for our precious lunch dates- and now I miss him at all restaurant meals - when someone orders the things DH loves - disgusting-sounding things like pork-belly fat or when I cannot make DH order desert so I can eat it )
Its strange to think that when I travel- R and DH’s lives go on without anything of me
My character in our story re-enters in a subsequent chapter – having had nothing to do with the prior chapter!!!
This sounds forlorn
But it isn’t – if there is joy in indispensability( how much we love to be needed!) – there is great freedom in knowing that life goes on without me
I wonder if my mum and dad feel this way about me and my sister
Here are some random things we did these past 10 days
Kites
The weekend before I left we flew kites – this was a lot of fun .
My mustachioed DH flying a ladybug kite is a darling sight to see and R had a lot of fun( in the way R has a lot of fun )
He enjoys them slowly – seeming to ignore them when they are actually happening
And only being able to involve himself in it after its over
White board writing
Here I wrote down for R – that he had two options
1. Come with mom to Kohls
2. Stay home with Papa
As you can see R chose a third option
Not only is this an example of flexible response ( Person A responds to Person B based on what Person B said ) – far superior to choosing between two alternatives
Its also an example that R has chosen to respond using the same method I used – a written question begets a written answer
When we are at Kohls – he wants to go home and whines and tries to herd all of us together.
Funnily whenever he is stressed out – his pronunciation changes .
As a child who learned to speak through hyperlexia -under stress- he pronounces Home as Homey ( because that is what it reads like )
Conversation
Scene - me intruding on to his TV show and R wants to be by himself as we have played together too much
Me : Shall we sing Up Down with Rocket
R : “Stand up.. walk” ( how interesting that he describes the physical actions I should take – rather than the more neurotypical statement –“ go away”)
Me : Pretend Crying – “Mama sad… “
R instructs : “Mama Happy” ( gives me sideways hug ..waits till I stop fake-crying and then )….Walk
When I am gone
I find one more way in which R uses his “Shee with Mother “. This time as a threat. After a scolding from his dad – he threatens his dad with “Sheep with Dadi “ ( granma )
Dr Stanley Greenspan dies at only 68 – I am devastated – he was truly the greatest mind in my opinion in Autism
When DH is hunting for the remote and asks R – R takes him to the rain water-harvesting tanker that Dh has created where R has dropped it – DH is so entranced at how R remembered and confessed even though he knows it was a bad thing to do – that R gets only a fake scolding
The weekend after I return we buy a bike
I get Barbara’s book – how to cook with "mommy and me" – and inspired -I make pizza with R
One of my colleagues – himself a devoted dad – says its like he missed a whole week of his kids
It is so very true especially in the way I travel
I compartmentalize to the nth degree – this is sort of easy because R does not like to talk on the phone and DH is too busy with building a garden shed to talk !
Random things disturb my equilibrium from time to time -
Dandelions on the road side, a neat row of Sprite at the focus group facility that I know would make R swoon with delight, someone ordering a pork chop- this one makes me miss DH quite terribly for the man loves his pork
( Work, chores and Floortime -do not allow for much only-us time between me and DH – except for our precious lunch dates- and now I miss him at all restaurant meals - when someone orders the things DH loves - disgusting-sounding things like pork-belly fat or when I cannot make DH order desert so I can eat it )
Its strange to think that when I travel- R and DH’s lives go on without anything of me
My character in our story re-enters in a subsequent chapter – having had nothing to do with the prior chapter!!!
This sounds forlorn
But it isn’t – if there is joy in indispensability( how much we love to be needed!) – there is great freedom in knowing that life goes on without me
I wonder if my mum and dad feel this way about me and my sister
Here are some random things we did these past 10 days
Kites
The weekend before I left we flew kites – this was a lot of fun .
My mustachioed DH flying a ladybug kite is a darling sight to see and R had a lot of fun( in the way R has a lot of fun )
He enjoys them slowly – seeming to ignore them when they are actually happening
And only being able to involve himself in it after its over
White board writing
Here I wrote down for R – that he had two options
1. Come with mom to Kohls
2. Stay home with Papa
As you can see R chose a third option
Not only is this an example of flexible response ( Person A responds to Person B based on what Person B said ) – far superior to choosing between two alternatives
Its also an example that R has chosen to respond using the same method I used – a written question begets a written answer
When we are at Kohls – he wants to go home and whines and tries to herd all of us together.
Funnily whenever he is stressed out – his pronunciation changes .
As a child who learned to speak through hyperlexia -under stress- he pronounces Home as Homey ( because that is what it reads like )
Conversation
Scene - me intruding on to his TV show and R wants to be by himself as we have played together too much
Me : Shall we sing Up Down with Rocket
R : “Stand up.. walk” ( how interesting that he describes the physical actions I should take – rather than the more neurotypical statement –“ go away”)
Me : Pretend Crying – “Mama sad… “
R instructs : “Mama Happy” ( gives me sideways hug ..waits till I stop fake-crying and then )….Walk
When I am gone
I find one more way in which R uses his “Shee with Mother “. This time as a threat. After a scolding from his dad – he threatens his dad with “Sheep with Dadi “ ( granma )
Dr Stanley Greenspan dies at only 68 – I am devastated – he was truly the greatest mind in my opinion in Autism
When DH is hunting for the remote and asks R – R takes him to the rain water-harvesting tanker that Dh has created where R has dropped it –
DH is so entranced at how R remembered and confessed even though he knows it was a bad thing to do – that R gets only a fake scolding
The weekend after I return we buy a bike
I get Barbara’s book – how to cook with "mommy and me" – and inspired -I make pizza with R
We play and cook most of the weekend