After Ky's episode in school, I took her out, she never went back, screw that, I went hunting for a new school. There was a small country school a good ten min drive down the road, I’ll check it out. It was a very small school, 2 classrooms, 2 teachers, all classes from junior infants to 6th class, mental, but I liked it. My self and Ky very nervously go in, the principle had a way about her but she was all right. Ky has a new school, off now to buy all new books and uniform, thank god for Lucas DCA.
Ky liked the new school, she seemed a lot happier in herself and started to settle, I quiz her daily, how was school, what are the kids like. Well at first alls good, ky was about to make her communion, she’s gone funny again, ahhh pre communion nerves? No, what now for f**k sake. Ky notices that a girl in her class is being bullied, Ky knows all too well how this pans out. The girl is becoming one of Ky’s new best friends, Ky’s troubled. Ky and I have a nice relationship, we chat a lot, she confides in me a lot, its nice, I love that closeness between us. I explain to her that she needs to keep out of what’s going on but be there for her friend, yes stand up for your friend, but this is not your argument, do not start fighting.
I am called to the school regarding Ky’s settling in process, how she's doing in her subjects, etc. Hello Mrs Mania, how you doing, oh I hate the name Mania, I really hate it. Hi it’s Maddie nice to meet you. Maddie, Ky’s maths, how has she managed to get this far without being noticed, well she hasn’t, but glad you brought it up. Ky is getting learning support hours, new to me but great, thanks. Ky also had some areas where there was concern, she’s very shy and timid, please don’t say you'd almost forget she was there, and there it was, those words are haunting me. But again, same as Dublin, she’s well able to tell you she’s had enough, I laughed, u see this had also been mentioned since she started school at 4. Ky was a very quiet child but when she felt she had done enough, she'd done enough, the teacher would say nicely, Ky finish your work, na I’ve done enough now, OK no Ky you have to finish, look your only half way through, Ky would simply say, oh no thanks, I’ve done enough, well she’s still doing it lol. Maddie, we cant really convince her that she has to keep going, she’s set in stone that she tell's US when she’s done enough, its odd. Yes those words, ODD, again, haunting me.
I bring my concerns about Ky’s dip in moods, lately she’s very worried about school, I explain about the little girl being bullied, oh yes were watching that, well if its starting to trouble other students it must be bad enough, oh no its silly stuff like note passing rubbish, ok, fair enough. I also raise my concerns around Ky’s social skills, behavioural skills, etc etc. Well we could get a NEPS Psychologist to the school after the communions, well that would be great, result.
The communion (on a Sunday) was lovely, best day, lovely weather, all friends down from Dublin, friends from Roscommon, ahhh just lovely. A perfect day, even Luca was ok on the day. Oh the sing star is out, the battles begin, were all a bit drunk, were all a bit giddy, the kids were in their element. I have to say, Ky looked like a princess on the day, she was just stunning, her dress was fab, hair was fab, she was gorgeous.
Oh god, i wake up feeling like crap, I’m not hung-over thoe. Lucas play therapy nurse is at the door, its ten O clock. She comes in, Jesus Maddie you look tired, I explain bout communion, She was amazed as no trace of a party, I’m a freak, I must have the house clean and tidy before going to bed, make up removed, shower, everything, I’m dreadful. I explain that I had been on antibiotics, have thrush from it.
I go to the doctor when she leaves, Luca also grumpy, ear infection? I was with this little weird man; my doctor was busy so I had this weirdo instead, lovely. I give a urine sample; he's shiting on about babies, autism, I’m hung over slightly. How would you feel about more kids, yea I wouldn’t, we’ve started the road to adoption, will take good few years yet, should be more than ready then. Wait what?? What the hell is he asking me that for, lunatic, anyway I can’t get pregnant without fertility treatment? He asks, would you be upset to find out your pregnant? Id be amazed as it’s a near impossible thing. He puts a positive pregnancy test down in front of me, you’re pregnant. Hold on WHAT, em your pregnant, WHAT, your pregnant WHAT, NOOOOO, you see I need chlomid, I need to plan a pregnancy, WHAT I’m in shock, he’s laughing, you think? This isn’t funny, fuck, I need an immediate tft test, a b12 test, are you shitting me, nooooooo. I go home and dh is making lunch, Babes sit down for a minute, why what’s up?
I’m pregnant, he's blank, almost like he diddnt hear me, I don’t think he did, IM PREGNANT, oh, he heard it lol, and he was just in shock. He is confused but smiled and laughed, oh fuck, what we are going to do he asks, I don’t know is all I could say. After a few minutes, were actually happy about it, strange but this could actually be the best thing for LUCA, MAYBE IT WAS MEANT TO BE.
The NEPS psychologist is here, I’m so nervous. More so because I was afraid they would tell me there was nothing wrong with Ky, that I was mad, that I had the problem, not Ky. I got my friends who know Ky extremely well since birth to txt 3 words to my phone that describe Ky. All say funny, quirky, giddy, hyperactive, lovely kid, clumsy, attention span not great, manipulative, wilful, nervous, shy, loyal, spoilt, headstrong, determined, story teller; I was delighted as there they were on my phone for Ed Psych to see. Don’t get me wrong, I don't want something to be wrong with my daughter, that’s far from it, but I do need an answer as to why she's the way she is so I can figure out who she is. Something has got to explain it.
Oh no here it goes, I go into the Psychologist, Hi Maddie, bla bla, we done this test, that test, (cognitive assessment) she scores really high here, she’s well above average here, she’s very week here, yes maths, visual spatial awareness issues, visual form, visual constancy, visual closure issues, pragmatic language issues, very dominant of topics, very controlling in conversation, but what a lovely warm, caring, gentle child. The Psychologist went on: She displayed avoidance behaviours during the test, she decided to be my teacher, pull down the blind, ask me did I need a cup of tea, as shed have one with me if I did, (you see herself and learning support teacher always had tea and toast during their session, spoilt brat lol) Ah yes, these avoidance behaviours also occur at home, Ky do your homework, ok but I have to go toilet, Ky do your homework, oh I’m hungry mum, can I have soup and so on, and so on.
Oh her accent is so cute, what, the Dublin accent is cute?? She has such an American accent, and she uses American terms like cell for mobile, awesome, sweet for good etc etc. Sorry, an American accent?? First I’ve noticed, how unusual. The Psych then goes on as calm as you like, you know Ky would present as very Aspergers type, dyspraxia type child. Sorry?? Aspergers, isn’t Aspergers Autism, WHAT, oh I’ll need to recommend her for further investigation to the Community OT, SLT and Psych. WHAT?? I show her the txt messages from my friends, yea there’s a pattern there, you know I can’t diagnose but Aspergers stands out. Ok she knew I had a child with Autism, did she just assume id be ok with such a flippant response, was it assumed that its no biggy, you already have 1 kid with it, here’s another? Don’t get me wrong, I seriously needed an answer, and I was expecting ADD and Dyspraxia, but I’m sorry Autism, again??
I ring my sister, I tell her the prognosis, she sniggers, see told ya she was mental, I laugh, I love my sister, she's so open and honest, and yes she did always say something was not quite right with Ky, I laugh, god I needed that Sandra. I tell DH, he's not laughing however, what, no way. Yes way, (slightly bill and ted there) I say all about the American accent, no she doesn’t he said, I explain about the behaviours etc. Now I’m just going to say now, this child is daddy's precious princess, they have the best daddy daughter relationship you could imagine, Ky is his baby girl, this was not news he took lightly, he was not impressed, I knew we were going to have a falling out or two with this new adventure of ours, this is now the rocky road to diagnosis.