We were all settled, things were going great, now at the start of this story you may recall my mentioning of my daughter Ky's odd behaviours, mannerisms etc, yes is life ever going to give us a break, no no it isn’t, and here is why.
From the day Ky was born, she never settled, she had chronic reflux (never diagnosed nor explained nor treated) You know when you have your first baby, your expected to be clueless, over paranoid, over anxious, yes I was assumed to be all of the above. Now I’m no expert by any means but considering I worked in childcare for years before my daughter was born, lived with my nephew from the day he was born, I would consider myself fairly well up on babies and children, again not an expert but fairly knowledgeable.
The health nurse taught it was strange for Ky to be puking so much day and night, doctor did not, reflux, she’ll grow out of it, yes but is there anything you can give her, no she’ll be fine. Ky also became prone to coughing all hours of the night, chest infections, throat infections, is this normal, yes comes with teeth. Ok I know babies suffer viral infections when teething but was this not extreme, was this not way too frequent? Ah of coarse, I forgot, I was a neurotic first time mum, silly me.
My niece had been diagnosed asthmatic, she had the same symptoms as Ky, I am also asthmatic, and my husband has chronic asthma, the worst kind. Ok I’m not being neurotic, I want ventolin syrup for my daughter thank you very much, doctor did not give it to me, ah my sister gave me a bottle she had spare. Low and behold, Ky coughing at night cleared and ok the insomniac still did not sleep but she diddnt cough and puke as much. Oh yes, Ky was an insomniac from birth, almost forgot that part.
Ky went on to develop at normal milestones, ok slightly ahead of time but not mind bogglingly ahead of time. Ky could talk the hind legs off a donkey when she was 2 and a half, but ky could also kick like a donkey at two and a half, and bite, pinch, slap, scream, ok you get the picture. Ky was a very strange 2 year old, wow, shed stop you in your tracks with her strange carry on. Ky would puzzle me; this child loved to swim in wide open pools, yet would not go in a bath. Ky would manage on 2 hours sleep a night, her food had to be white in colour, yogurt, cheese, bread, milk, pasta, all white, Now she still had reflux at this stage so cleaning plain puke was a bonus I must say. Ky would tantrum until blue in the face em yep all 2 year olds do, but then when you taught it was resolved shed go and tantrum again, just for the hell of it, sure why not.
Shopping anyone?? Sliding doors, escalators, crowded small shops anyone?? Yep she hated them all, but yet with the promise of a visit to the crèche, she sailed on through those sliding doors, ok she was scared shitless but she braved it up for a trip to the crèche. Now call me a neurotic first time mum but normal? No taught you’d say that. Now if that wasn’t enough since when do you have to be overly specific to a 2.5 year old child, I mean really specific, oh and I was Maddie and DH was DH, no Ky, my name is mammy, no your name is Maddie, no Ky mammy, no Susan’s mammy, your Maddie, why Ky, cause your name is Maddie, ok Hun, Maddie it is, u know what that argument wasn’t worth it, the child was in fact right, my name was Maddie, I was not christened Mammy.
Oh dear lord, the child will do nothing, nothing. ahhhhh but she will clean up her toys, and she will wash her hands every five minutes. Oh and chemistry buff at the age of 3, lets pour shampoo, shower gel, a bar of soap down the loo and flush, yayyyyyy foam party woo hoo. You see ky never craved attention, she was way too busy being a destructive little devil, I was her tool to do things that she knew she could not do for herself. Independence was her middle name.
When Ky turned 4 she some what settled, yet she was mentally and physically exhausting, she was a head melt, I would be in pain by the time bed time came, absolute pain. Now for a child that was so independent, she loved cuddles, she loved rough play, she loved sitting reading a book with me, how odd, how does she remember that, when did we last read that book, adds on the telly, she knew off by heart, but I don’t even know that add, songs on the radio, off by heart. Now I know kids aren’t meant to like the word NO, but Ky was allergic to it. WTF child, I said NO, but why, because I said so, yea but why, grrrrrrrr get out before I murder you child. Yea that’s how it went lol.
Ok school starts, Ky is 4, you see in playschool Ky manipulated things so that she got one on one attention, she diddnt really do groups, in fact she really diddnt do groups, she was great at charming the socks off the adults, she got what she wanted, when she wanted, men were suckers to her, woman saw right through her. You see, Ky failed to realise that other people existed, that there were topics of conversation other to what she wanted to talk about, you see ky lived and still lives in Kyland.
Kyland is a wonderful place, its full of fluffy puppies, kittens, bunnies, ah all things wonderful, Ky is their leader, yes, she is the queen and ruler, animals cant talk back :)) ah but they can bite :))
School was a strange but nice place for Ky, she worked the charm on her teacher, a very young girl who loved her job, you see Ky was very quit, you would forget she was in the room, was how she was described to me, she is so shy and timid, even in the yard ?? I’m sorry, shy, timid, are you sure; no I’m Ky’s mum. Yes shy and timid, polite, mannered, eager to work, does get distracted but never lost in conversation. Ok well she’s doing great in school so no worries :))
Ky turns 6, still shy and timid?? Gets distracted easy, hard to keep focused, is so quiet you would forget she was in the room (again, that comment troubled me) still wont really join in at yard time?? Still not participating in class discussions?? Takes conversation literal and concrete?? ok so now I’m troubled, especially since I started working and studying in the area of special needs and behaviours, developmental psychology etc yes I’m sorry but that’s odd, ky was academically doing well but not in maths, her mathematics were extremely week.
Age 7: We think she could have ADD. Now you remember from my early posts I was moving county. I already had suspicions about my baby boy Luca, Ok I need recommendations for new school in Roscommon. All was given, forwarded on and received. Many conversations back and forth to new school, Ky receives a glowing character reference from her School principle and teacher. They wished Ky all the best, she would be missed.
We move, we settle some what, Ky starts school. Things are not going so great; Ky was missing Dublin so badly. She made friends here but missed home. I taught give her time god love her, Dublin was all she knew, this county is way too new to her. Ky was more and more withdrawn every day, my poor baby girl, well with all this going on with LUCA she is feeling left out and lonely. But she’s not i don’t think, you see what was happening with Luca did not really register with Ky as it was not a Kyland topic. I’m confused, ahhhh she tells me, mum cant you have more than one friend, yes honey you can, then why is Rosie being like that with me, hold up, back up and start from the start Ky, she explains all, ky is caught up in a dominant friend situation, 2 dominant girls but only one can have her. Ky pushed the girl in the school yard as the girl had pulled her hair, now Ky is a soft kind natured girl, but she’s a dub, you don’t push me and walk away from me, she will stand up for herself if she feels threatened enough. Ky was accused of being a bully. Ah now, hold on, not a hope, now I’m not one of those mothers who thinks the sun shines out of my kids ass, I know it doesn’t but a bully, now you can go and shite with that one.
I spoke to her teacher, oh my god, Ky a bully, by no means Maddie, she is being over powered by 2 dominant girls if anything, yes I taught so, well now I very happily told the mother of the other child, you might want to go speak to your child and get the real story before you call my child a bully. Now remember all this going on with Luca so I was in no way going to put up with the stupidity of someone I did not have to, The next day I’m standing in the yard waiting to collect Ky, I hear her screaming, oh my god that’s ky, I ran, just as I tried to go in the mother of the other child came out, and accosted me, she stood right in front of me with her face in mine. Now girls, I’ve done martial arts since I was a nipper, well, I automatically wanted to hit her, but I was in a school yard and I have more respect for my self and the kids coming out of school, I tell the mum. I say what did you do to my daughter, well what did she do, she walked up to Ky on her way down the corridor to come home, and threatened Ky with bla bla's
Now I’ve had enough, I’ve blown a fuse; I go to the police station and report the school and the woman. Then it appears this child Rosie’s dad is a prison warden. Ky went mental as we approached the police station, lets go home, she screamed, dragged me to the car, she was frantic, what is wrong with you, we have to go, we have to get daddy and Luca and go, Ky what’s wrong, I have to go in here, no me and Luca will be put in a home and you and daddy in prison. WHAT Jesus Ky will you stop, no no we have to go, it turns out Rosie had said these very words to Ky, that if you don’t play with me and do what I want you to do, my daddy will put your mum and dad in prison and you and Luca will be put in a home, now most kids would say, would you ever go and F**k off you mad cow, not my daughter, you see Ky takes everything you say literally and concrete. I finally get into the police station and make my complaint, it was dealt with and I was on the hunt for a new school for Ky.