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The end of November

Posted Dec 02 2011 11:30pm
Thanksgiving

We have a 4 day break and a very welcome one it is

We have been walking -to-do lists  for  a while and it feels just wonderful  to do nothing for a little bit !

We asked R what he wants to do on Thanksgiving and he says he wants a picnic

OMG it is blissful - even though it is cold

We ask R what he wants to put in the picnic basket and he wants to put Coke and Sprite

And so we do

We do not however realize that he wants to mix his drinks !!

We do Black Friday Shopping on Friday and its a disaster - both DH and I are very grumpy and at one point we are planning to drive to another store and DH just cannot take it any more and he simply drives off..
And I am so glad he does - I hate shopping

R is his version of grumpy which involves incessant whining

He wants to have a "collection " of Wii Games - and while we are fine with buying him the games -we are NOT okay with buying the same game multiple times

But R wants a collection and we do not give in

I think the ideal conditions for us to be happy are as follows

1. to have plenty of time and not feel rushed
2. to be just the three of us or only close friends
3.  to be well fed
4. For R to be happy

I have noticed how much pleasure R's happiness gives to us  - perhaps its true of all kids

SOCIAL SKILLS 

DH and I are definitely going to gird our loins and learn about teaching social skills and put a plan in place for summer

When our friends are over - R just completely ignores the kids and these are VERY nice kids

Sweet and gentle

One of my friends daughters' tells her mother that she does not like to come to our house because she thinks that R does not like her!

This breaks my heart as I really adore her -

Here is she and her little brother - they entertain each other and play in the hammocks and swings that are plentiful in our cabin



Another weekend we have another set of friends and their kids - who are also beyond AWESOME

Tell me have you seen more beautiful kids ?


Again R ignores the amazing kids

While as always being sweet to the adults - here is R nestled to my friend


DH and I sternly remind ourselves that we need to attack social skills next

Especially reading stories of many autistic adults ( who I learn a lot from ) makes me feel guilty.

These adults talk about how they  just wanted to be "left alone" by other children when they were young,.

But they  feel their lack of friends and loneliness as they grow up .

This  is one thing we cannot ignore

( I must admit that the weight of all the things "we cannot ignore" weighs heavily on me some times )

The kids have demanded a classical Indian meal that DH and I make painstakingly

DH is a bit of a food snob and is ALARMED by the plebeian  way in which I am cooking

He grabs the jar from me and tells me to "respect the  saffron"

Not only must I use the right ingredients - apparently its also essential to coddle each ingredient

I leave DH to make out with the spices and do the rest of the things suitable to my "pedestrian abilities  ( grunt work like vaccuming )


The meal is DELICIOUS and the kids beg for seconds ( and everyone complements me on the sparkling house )

So both DH's bourgeoisie skills and my plebeian ones are well appreciated !!

Reading 

I am reading a lot these days

One interesting thing that I noticed was how the experience of a book changes with time.

I re-read Wuthering Heights recently . I used to say it was my favorite book - but I was shocked by how illogical the characters were. I wanted to yell at Heathcliff ( that same person that  17 year old me thought was very romantic )

I think its the same with life .

We can say we will never do this and  we will always do that

But we dont know how we will feel about this or that when we are at that point in time .

A woman once wrote about her mother that her mother used to always say that she will never become shapeless like old people do. When this woman was burying her mother - she noted how her mother had managed to stay shapely. I am alwasy struck by the people who manage to stick to something for their whole life . I feel I keep changing

The other thing I realized is just how much I read . I started to write short posts about books I am reading in a separate blog here 

I noticed that I read more than 10 books in the month of November.

This really has been made possible by Audio books that I listen to while doing chores

I have  the typical poverty of time, but I do  have time while doing other things and also I have little bursts of 10 minutes here and there

I have been thinking also that this approach could apply to Floortime as well

SICKIES 

DH and  I have both had little bouts of sickies.

I am always struck by the kindness of R - he tries to stay close to the one who is not feeling well

Last night when DH was not feeling well, R stayed snuggled up to DH all evening ( his usual place is to stay stuck to me )


His sweetness and goodness make my heart constrict sometime

This month's Nature magazine is devoted to Autism - its super expensive but I was lucky enough to have a friend who lend me her copy.

i will summarize the many good articles in that magazine - so you can read them too

(One of the articles talk about  prenatal screening for autism .This breaks my heart - it really does. But let me not dwell on that here )

As I peel a reluctant R from DH's arms to get him ready for bed I tell DH that we really won the kid lottery.

We really did, says DH

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