I'm just curious as to who allows their child to be used as a "test" for these vaccines? Really?
And now for my tangent:
When asked if I would consider vaccinating Drew anymore, the hair raises on my arms. It's like a joke. Really? He has BRAIN DAMAGE from a VACCINE people. NO. I would NEVER risk hurting my child. EVER. It boggles my mind when people don't think it is possible. It happened. YES, my son was not born perfect. He had major gastrointestinal issues. He was PREDISOPOSED to being susceptible to damaging toxins in his gut and brain. He screeched for HOURS at the top of his lungs after receiving the DTaP vaccine. He moaned in pain from the high fever. When contacting his pediatrician the next morning, I was informed that the fever was ok but the doctor would still like to see him because he was not the only child to have a bad reaction to that particular lot of vaccines. Seriously, that's a true story. Do you think it was reported? Um, no. He came out of his vaccine reaction with no outside scars; but the damage had been done. He had been pushed.....not completely over the ege but pushed. (BTW, we now have medical tests to prove this)
Then, I begged, pleaded with my pediatrician at the next set of vaccines (10 month). "My son isn't babbling anymore. I'm kind of worried. I heard about the whole MMR and autism connection. I'm afraid to continue." I was given a lecture about the diseases in third world countries and how I could live with a child with autism but not one who had a deadly disease. Ok, I guess that is true. Quite frankly, the odds of 1:150 are scarier than those for the diseases. I just wanted to delay the vaccines. Then, I was peer pressured...but not before my sweet boy was starting to babble again (and I have it on video). "la", "da","ga" so beautifully came out of his mouth ONE WEEK before the 10 month vaccines.
WHAMM. It happened again. Of course, we tried to blame it on teething or something. Nope all babbling gone. Only this time, eye contact slowly diminshed. Quietly afraid, I began researching more and more about the vaccines and autism. Unfortunately, still not realizing damage had been done. There was so much controversy over the MMR that my focus was just on him not receiving it. I just thought he was having trouble with babbling and talking and I didn't want to delay it further by giving him the MMR.
So, we moved from Florida to Texas and changed pediatricians. This resulted in his 12 month shots being delayed by one month. I told our new ped that I did not want him to get the MMR. Plus, at this time, he was saying "dada", "yum yum" "hi" and "mum". She agreed ONLY because they were going to be giving him four other vaccines AND the TB test. Yes, Texas still does the TB test on babies. So, he was loaded up with every vaccine known to man except the MMR but including the varicella (another live virus vaccine).
I've written about what happened next and talked about it so many times; yet STILL some people do not believe the vaccines had anything to do with Drew's situation. After being injected with all of those vaccines, my baby didn't really cry (relief at first). Nope, instead, the next morning when I WOKE him, he was so hot. He had a 104 fever. He was limp. I put him on my bed as I did every morning, expecting him to stand up and dance to his Blue's Clues. That did not happen. He laid limp. He tried to stand but could not even get up on all fours. It was scary. I called the ped....they said, "It's fine, give him 24 hours." He also showed a false-positive reading for the TB test which then sent half of my family to be screened for TB and sent Drew to get chest x-rays. He did not have TB but, once again, had a reaction to a vaccine. The fever went away the next day...and so did the next year of our lives. Drew lost the ability to babble, he just went away to a different world. He didn't know who mommy or daddy or even Kane were anymore. He couldn't clap his hands, or dance to the music, or do the motions to Itsy Bitsy Spider. He then got this horrific diarrhea for months. He also broke out in what appeared to be the chicken pox. God, it makes me sick. He started developing very weird habits that his ped thought were staring seizures. He would only make this "eeee" sound and stare. I can't explain it.
I remember that day in my bed with Drew. I hadn't realized yet that he couldn't talk or communicate anymore. But, I did think for a second...."did it just happen? Tell me I didn't just give my baby autism." Keep in mind, I didn't know then what I know now about autism or the symptoms of it. I didn't know that he was damaged earlier on and was then pushed over the edge. I didn't realize all of the signs of predisposition that he exhibited very early on: colic, trouble breastfeeding, reflux. All I knew was that there was a very sick feeling in my stomach that I tried very hard to dismiss and move forward.
It has been a little over a year since that devastating time in our lives. We lost that year. It has been absolute hell. It has been humbling. It has been lonely. It has been sickening. But, I have a glimmer of hope now. I have been seeing things in Drew that I haven't seen in a year. Just a little glimmer. He is still not "there". He is in his world still but he does come and play in our's for a good part of the day now. He is happy to see us, smiles at us, looks to see if we're watching. He loves us. It is a feeling that we have longed for a long time. It is not easy to give without getting in return. The past year has been a constant, constant give truly hoping that each day will be that day that we "get" in return. And by get, I mean, some sort of sign that all our work is reaching him in some way. It is so nice to "get" a little in return now. We have sooooooo far to go; but we have also come so far.