After C was diagnosed the next few years were a blur of appointments with psychologist, therapists, community nurses etc. Many friends disappeared as they didn ’t know what to say to me. Neighbours crossed the street when they saw us coming. I was asked several times if it was catching! It was a long time ago and practically unheard of then. My mother was in denial, and my brothers and sisters all being younger than I am were all away at university getting on with their own lives.
C as a young child was very destructive to himself and his surroundings and smeared a lot, so I couldn ’t take him to peoples houses, and he wouldn ’t let anyone in ours. He didn ’t like me talking to people either in person or on the phone. I could only take C to playgrounds when it rained as they would be empty. Even then we emptied shops and cafes, as we still do. My world shrank.
I went to support groups, but as other children were not as self injurious as C even those parents avoided us. I ended up running support groups for others, and doing such things as Home start and Face to Face. I also sat on numerous committees. Doing for others was my support. It is well documented that carers become isolated, and I see it in my own life. I have many acquaintances, but few friends. Because C is away at boarding school, I haven’t even got to know the other parents at the school. I do however have one really good friend who has been my life saver and continues to be so. My mother is also of great support. My ex husbands family totally cut us off. And trying to have relationships…...well….... ( Vi vi vi voom does that answer your question?!!) C copes better with life on his own, which in reality has meant I have to. (If you click on this picture you can see the damage C does to his head when he is anxious.) My other life saver has been my PC! What did isolated carers used to do before the internet? I think/hope its different now for parents of younger children as autism is better understood.
My world shrank.
It is well documented that carers become isolated, and I see it in my own life. I have many acquaintances, but few friends. Because C is away at boarding school, I haven’t even got to know the other parents at the school.
I do however have one really good friend who has been my life saver and continues to be so. My mother is also of great support. My ex husbands family totally cut us off.
And trying to have relationships…...well….... ( Vi vi vi voom does that answer your question?!!)
C copes better with life on his own, which in reality has meant I have to. (If you click on this picture you can see the damage C does to his head when he is anxious.)
My other life saver has been my PC! What did isolated carers used to do before the internet?
I think/hope its different now for parents of younger children as autism is better understood.