Last week I ran 16 miles. In one go.
This is a very stupid thing to do because it means I have been unable to find a comfortable position to sit in or do pretty much anything involving my legs. It is not about losing weight or looking a certain way, it was just a desperate attempt to prove to myself that I can still "do it". Of course it was meaningless because after I do it, I can’t do anything else, which really means I can’t "do it" and am now on the brink of an injury. Recovery is more important than the actual run, especially if you have not been doing much of it for a while. So I spent most of this week just walking.
Today was rock bottom day as my body started crashing around noon. That’s what happens when you don’t give yourself time to recover from stupid things.
Khaled is crying his eyes out, begging us to come and pray in his room or lie down with him. We are trying to put this on extinction, reducing the really long (usually never ending) bed time routine to a shorter routine. We have been consistent only this week.
Everything is a ritual, and I don’t want Khaled to become a slave of all his rituals. I will sing to him his choice of songs, give him a lot of reinforcement when he is in bed and then I will say good night and leave.
That is when the real drama ensues. As he gets more and more tired, his crying becomes more emotional. It sounds heart wrenchingly sad. Every time I hear him cry out some gibberish that starts with mommy, or baba, I feel someone puncturing or twisting my insides. Parents are not emotionally designed for this sort of thing, why then do we have to go through it?
All I want to do right now is to go and comfort him so he can sleep. But I know he will wake up several times during the night expecting me to repeat this pattern because he wants to sleep with mom or dad. I know because I have done that already in the past. Cuddling, snuggling together in bed was extremely reinforcing (for both of us; I got my sleep, he got his mommy/baba). It is however dysfunctional and he is 4 now.
We tried the fading out slowly thing, and it never worked.
We should have sleep trained him earlier.
So I am quarantined in my room, his night light is on, all the bulbs in the house (except toilet) have been removed and I am going to write some more about running.
This Sunday I am going to try and do a shorter run and see if my shins and calf muscles have recovered. Need to tape the blister on my toe and break in the new shoes.
Khaled has done pretty decent mileage for his age this week. All the walking combined (we walk the same 2 or 3 routes), comes to
8.3 4.4 miles, with the longest one being 2.53 miles. (I have a Garmin). No more long walks for Khaled this week though. He needs some recovery too.
That’s him giving up on the long walk. At this point he has given up whining and asking to be picked up.
Here he is on a pavement at Bloor street west. It was only a 3 km walk and there were stops at the library and McDonald's. So really, I don’t know what the drama was about. He continues to be handsome, despite his plight.
This is Haile Gabriesellese at the 2007 Berlin marathon where he broke a record by 29 seconds, setting a new one of 2:04.26. When he was a kid, he ran 10 km to school and then back every day in Ethiopia, with school books.
When Khaled flops and I really want to pick him up, I think of Haile.
Maybe this boy will thank me when he is 30, has bones of steel and is an elite runner or something.
He is asleep. For now.
This is a very stupid thing to do because it means I have been unable to find a comfortable position to sit in or do pretty much anything involving my legs. It is not about losing weight or looking a certain way, it was just a desperate attempt to prove to myself that I can still "do it". Of course it was meaningless because after I do it, I can’t do anything else, which really means I can’t "do it" and am now on the brink of an injury. Recovery is more important than the actual run, especially if you have not been doing much of it for a while. So I spent most of this week just walking.
Today was rock bottom day as my body started crashing around noon. That’s what happens when you don’t give yourself time to recover from stupid things.
Khaled is crying his eyes out, begging us to come and pray in his room or lie down with him. We are trying to put this on extinction, reducing the really long (usually never ending) bed time routine to a shorter routine. We have been consistent only this week.
Everything is a ritual, and I don’t want Khaled to become a slave of all his rituals. I will sing to him his choice of songs, give him a lot of reinforcement when he is in bed and then I will say good night and leave.
That is when the real drama ensues. As he gets more and more tired, his crying becomes more emotional. It sounds heart wrenchingly sad. Every time I hear him cry out some gibberish that starts with mommy, or baba, I feel someone puncturing or twisting my insides. Parents are not emotionally designed for this sort of thing, why then do we have to go through it?
All I want to do right now is to go and comfort him so he can sleep. But I know he will wake up several times during the night expecting me to repeat this pattern because he wants to sleep with mom or dad. I know because I have done that already in the past. Cuddling, snuggling together in bed was extremely reinforcing (for both of us; I got my sleep, he got his mommy/baba). It is however dysfunctional and he is 4 now.
We tried the fading out slowly thing, and it never worked.
We should have sleep trained him earlier.
So I am quarantined in my room, his night light is on, all the bulbs in the house (except toilet) have been removed and I am going to write some more about running.
This Sunday I am going to try and do a shorter run and see if my shins and calf muscles have recovered. Need to tape the blister on my toe and break in the new shoes.
Khaled has done pretty decent mileage for his age this week. All the walking combined (we walk the same 2 or 3 routes), comes to
8.34.4 miles, with the longest one being 2.53 miles. (I have a Garmin). No more long walks for Khaled this week though. He needs some recovery too.That’s him giving up on the long walk. At this point he has given up whining and asking to be picked up.
Here he is on a pavement at Bloor street west. It was only a 3 km walk and there were stops at the library and McDonald's. So really, I don’t know what the drama was about. He continues to be handsome, despite his plight.
This is Haile Gabriesellese at the 2007 Berlin marathon where he broke a record by 29 seconds, setting a new one of 2:04.26. When he was a kid, he ran 10 km to school and then back every day in Ethiopia, with school books.
When Khaled flops and I really want to pick him up, I think of Haile.
Maybe this boy will thank me when he is 30, has bones of steel and is an elite runner or something.
He is asleep. For now.