I was planning to post this entry about three months ago, when it became obvious to everyone but Hillary Clinton herself that she had no chance of winning the Democratic nomination, but her campaign just kept on stumbling around like a dinosaur that had such a rudimentary nervous system it didn't know it was dead after its head got cut off. But finally, the time to put her in the Curebie Graveyard has come. So without further ado, and with a generous sprinkling of garlic cloves and holy water around the gravesite to keep the undead creature from rising, I present Hillary's tombstone:
For her eulogy, I've chosen the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction."
I can't get no satisfaction I can't get no satisfaction 'cause I try and I try and I cry and I cry I can't get no, I can't get no
When I'm panderin' for votes and kissin' up to Autism Speaks and they're tellin' me more and more about some research that could affect 'em supposed to cure and prevent the spectrum I can't get no, oh no no no Hey hey hey, that's what I say
I can't get no satisfaction I can't get no satisfaction 'cause I try and I try and I cry and I cry I can't get no, I can't get no
When I'm workin' on policy and the Wrights come by to tell me how pure the gene pool can be Autistics can't be human 'cause they don't have the same kind of brain as me I can't get no, oh no no no Hey hey hey, that's what I say
I can't get no satisfaction Can't get past the voters' gut reaction 'cause I try and I try and I cry and I cry I can't get no, I can't get no
When I'm campaignin' all around and I'm doin' this and I'm promisin' that and there's not a vote to be found I got my overconfident butt kicked into next week How did I get on this losing streak? I can't get no, oh no no no Hey hey hey, that's what I say
I can't get no, I can't get no I can't get no satisfaction No satisfaction, no satisfaction, no satisfaction
For her eulogy, I've chosen the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction."
I can't get no satisfaction
I can't get no satisfaction
'cause I try and I try and I cry and I cry
I can't get no, I can't get no
When I'm panderin' for votes
and kissin' up to Autism Speaks
and they're tellin' me more and more
about some research that could affect 'em
supposed to cure and prevent the spectrum
I can't get no, oh no no no
Hey hey hey, that's what I say
I can't get no satisfaction
I can't get no satisfaction
'cause I try and I try and I cry and I cry
I can't get no, I can't get no
When I'm workin' on policy
and the Wrights come by to tell me
how pure the gene pool can be
Autistics can't be human 'cause they don't have
the same kind of brain as me
I can't get no, oh no no no
Hey hey hey, that's what I say
I can't get no satisfaction
Can't get past the voters' gut reaction
'cause I try and I try and I cry and I cry
I can't get no, I can't get no
When I'm campaignin' all around
and I'm doin' this and I'm promisin' that
and there's not a vote to be found
I got my overconfident butt kicked into next week
How did I get on this losing streak?
I can't get no, oh no no no
Hey hey hey, that's what I say
I can't get no, I can't get no
I can't get no satisfaction
No satisfaction, no satisfaction, no satisfaction
Labels: curebies, Hillary Clinton, politics