Must They Stare?

My son, which I will now call ER and no, it doesnotstand for Emergency Room even though he's seen enough of them -- my son and I just returned home from grocery shopping. We visited our neighborhood store, one we have been shopping at for nearly eight years. All the staff knows us there and even though it's one of the more expensive places to shop, I appreciate being recognized and asked, "How's your family? Where's your other son?" Personal touches always impress me. However, the stares from customers do not.

Why must they stare? I realize my son is different and yes, he's clapping his hands, laughing and words you cannot understand are flying from his mouth. But, he's excited. Food shopping is one of his favorite things to do. Especially, if there's a chance Macaroni and Cheese will be on the grocery bill. But, why stare? If it were only the children who can't seem to tear their eyes away, I would partially understand, but it's the adults. Didn't their parents teach them that it's impolite to stare? Mine certainly did. Yes, he's different. You see this, so either ask me what is going on with him or move on. I wish an adultwouldask me what is wrong with my child. It would give me the chance to educate them and perhaps recognize Autism the next time they may come across it.

One day while shopping in the same store, a lady approached me and asked, "He has Autism, doesn't he?" I'm sure I gavesucha look of surprise as surprise is exactly what I felt within -- SHE RECOGNIZES AUTISM! She went on to explain that her two twin grandsons both have the disorder. With her daughter taking care of them and two others all by herself, her life is quite stressful. I left the store feeling warm inside for someone understanding my son and thankful my life was not as stressful as others.

I spoke of partially understanding the staring of children. Actually, I do understand why they would stare. If their parents have not implanted the rule of it being rude and inappropriate, it's a given that they will. On several occasions, their attention was so glued I couldn't help myself but to speak out and ask, "Do you know what Autism is?" They always shake their heads, "no." Upon giving an explanation, the adults with them became intrigued, as well.

I've heard of places who sell business size cards that say, "I have Autism" on the front and a description of what it is on the back. This is great for adults with Autistic children or those Adults with the disorder. But, what ifthose adultsare like my son -- unaware of the attention being given him? How will they know to give a card to someone who has no idea why they are the way they are?

Staring hurts and even though those who are the object of the attention aren't aware, it hurts their loved ones surrounding them. If you are guilty of looking just a little bit longer than what is considered normal, ask questions. We don't mind. If I can educate you and thus make the world a more acceptable place for those who are different from the norm, please…..ask away.