Instructional vs. Abstractional Control of Teen Behavior (often we overparent)
Posted Jul 21 2011 9:01pm
In Western culture especially, parents tend to rely on instructions (prompts, reminders, instructions) to teach or control our children. These "antecedent" type strategies (as opposed to "consequential" or "contextual" strategies) tend to be weak. "Do this, don't do that, blah, blah, balh" lots of noise to kids. That doesn't mean we never tell a kid what to do or not to do, but let's be honest about the limitations of barking commands at kids. This attempt at "instructional" control may be useful if used sparingly, but it's much more important to "create opportunities" for exploration and success.
In Western culture especially, parents tend to rely on instructions (prompts, reminders, instructions) to teach or control our children. These "antecedent" type strategies (as opposed to "consequential" or "contextual" strategies) tend to be weak. "Do this, don't do that, blah, blah, balh" lots of noise to kids. That doesn't mean we never tell a kid what to do or not to do, but let's be honest about the limitations of barking commands at kids. This attempt at "instructional" control may be useful if used sparingly, but it's much more important to "create opportunities" for exploration and success.