Several times in the last two weeks I‘ve run into an
expression that I have a love-hate relationship with: “Cathy, I don’t know how you do it all. How do you do it?” Since it’s usually a rhetorical question, and
I’m not really going to answer it, why love-hate? Because someday I just might respond. And it isn’t going to be pretty.
Here’s the hate version.
And, fair warning. It includes some
of the things I want to say out loud but don’t:
How do I do it?! Do
want to know? You wanna wear my shoes
for a day and find out? You wanna see
what I see? You wanna discover what
others are continuously trying to cover up?
You wanna read my PMs from parents asking for advice? Or emails from a distraught parent who finally
connects their child’s deteriorating health to a vaccine injury? You wanna hear the cry of pain that a
vaccine-injured child cries when his body cannot do what his mind is telling
him to do? Or hear the frustration that comes
out of a child who was physically capable of doing everything but is now both
physically and mentally frozen in a developmental stage from eight years
ago?! You wanna know more about that
child? That it’s MY child who suffers
more than you’ll probably ever suffer over your entire lifespan?! No, you don’t want to know? Come on, why not? Am I scaring you? Oh, I am?
Well then, please, I implore you; don’t ask me how I do it all because
one of these days I am gonna unload all of this on somebody and tell them everything—the
good, the bad, the awful. And the ugly,
unbelievable yet 100% God-honest truth.
Told ya it was a little harsh.
And now, the love version:
How do I do it? Oh, I’m
so glad you asked! You see, something
terrible happened when Ronan was a baby.
Sure I could have done a little bit of reading which might have
prevented some of his ails, but I really didn’t know enough back then. Now that I know a thing or two, my mission is
to help as many parents as I can. I want to save their children and the world! I want tell everyone to education themselves
on the explosion of environmental assaults we’ve all been exposed to. Read, read and read some more. It’s really pretty exciting to share what I
know and what I have experienced. It’s
actually a blessing to see what I get to see.
I’m amazed at what I get to hear.
I’m truly honored to have the relationships I have now with so many
other parents because we’ve learned just so much from each other. And Ronan?
I get to see my child blossom, albeit very, very slowly. But, I get to watch him grow as much as he is
capable of growing.
Hmmm, that version sort of reminds me of rainbows and
If I had a nickel for every time someone said, “How do you
do it?” I’d be a rich girl. I’d have large
pots lined with all sorts of shiny nickels. I wouldn’t let them just sit there though. I’d add them all up and take those funds to
share opportunities with others. I’d
spread the love and I’d make sure no one was on a wait list for therapy or
state aide. I’d make sure teachers were
trained with our kids needs in mind. I’d
help fund respite and peaceful getaways for every exhausted parent out there. I’d donate money to charities who gave back
to families because so many are hurting financially. I’d pile loads of money into our kids’ health and
into their siblings’ education. I’d buy
out companies whose products destroy our bodies and our health. I’d do
everything I could to turn our health care system’s focus into actually caring
for our health. I’d make sure no one
would ever go without ever again. Oh, to have all of that and more!
Back to reality.
It isn’t so much how I do things but why I do them—to prevent the epidemic that is stealing our
children’s health, lives and futures away.
Some days I wish the people who
make that innocent yet sometimes annoying statement about how I do so much
would instead remember why I do it:
because what happened to Ronan could have been prevented. Because a generation of kids like Ronan might
now forever be very dependent on their parents, their teachers, their
therapists and their exhausted families.
Because if we don’t provide help for these children now, their futures
could be very bleak. Because our
overcrowded school, health care and support systems will not be able to handle
the growing number of children affected.
And because, this did not have to happen.
I do a lot. I do more
than I should some days, and I do as much as I can on others hoping that it was
enough. In the long run it doesn’t
matter how I do it; it's really only matter why.
I do it for Ronan because he needs me to.
Cathy Jameson is a Contributing Editor for Age of Autism.