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humorous quote(s) to take sting out of celibacy.

Posted Jun 13 2009 12:19am
Celibacy is a real problem for many autistic males. You don't get to hear about it much because the powers that be only publicizes writings of successful autistics like Stephen Shore who can get married and Temple Grandin, a female who claims to be celibate by choice. The problems of the invisible autistic adult are ignored and people act like autistics remain peter pans. Most of the internet autistics do not write much about this problem. Trust me, it is there, it exists. The interested reader can search for David Miedzianik in google and find some interesting things on this topic. Prior to about 1991 or 1992 David was possibly only one of the two persons in the world on the autistic spectrum who had written published autobiographies of any kind. The only other person being Temple Grandin, a female autistic, who wrote the work with an assistant author. Except for some minor editing David's work is really his, but he never got very far. His is a very sad saga indeed which I may blog about at some point in time.

I am over 50 years old, somewhat overweight and have no job. My prospects for finding romantic bliss are not too promising. However, who says we autistics have no sense of humor? What a rotten stereotype some people seem to make about us. Therefore, I can show that I have a sense of humor and can make some light out of a bad situation, so here are a few interesting quotes and quipsabout sex as they could pertain to autism that I encountered some time ago that put a smile on my face. Hopefully they will put a smile on yours too.

First there is the story of the autistic adult virgin who went on a date and thought he was going to have sex. He asked his date if she brought any protection and she nodded and pulled out a switchblade.

Lord Chesterfield on sex: The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous and the expense damnable.

Disraeli on marriage: Every woman should marry but no man.

Here's a good one from the late George Carlin: The celibate autistic can always remember that sex has its consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs out that night, she prevented about 15 million other people from spreading their legs.

Truman Capote on Masturbation: The good thing about masturbation is you don't have to get dressed up for it.

Woody Allen on Masturbation: Don't knock it, at least it's sex with someone you love.

Or the one about the autistic guy who was only capable of concrete thought. His dad told him about the birds and the bees. He ended up going steady with a woodpecker until he was 21.

Charles Bukowski: A man can go without sex for 70 years, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement.

Well that's enough, have a nice day all :)
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