Another Whitney Houston song that I just cannot get out of my head. It has been my car song for the last 10 years. I love singing that song in the car.
Another week of going through resumes of would be therapists for my home program. They apply, I call them, they ask questions to which I don't know the answers. I forward the resumes to my clinical supervisor.
I would say I am getting good resumes, but the GTA is such a large region that traffic and distances become a major factor in considering an applicant. They all have day jobs or other clients and as it stands we are the ones who have to fit around the schedules of these professionals. It is just demand versus supply. They all want to know "What hours are you looking for?" and I really don't have an answer right now.
At least after attending today's workshop at Brookfield Programs I know I made the right decision about which provider to work with. However the amount of time and effort it is taking for me to get things started is a lot more than most other parents are having to do.
Then again, this is what I want. It is hard and it may not work perfectly but it is what I want. I want to be in the thick of it. I do not want to drop my son off to a clinic and be there for team meetings. I want to choose the team, I want to do the therapy. If not the direct instruction then something else that is equally part of the program. Today I found out that RDI is one such element of the behavior therapy that I can implement on an ongoing basis as a parent. I learned that I can train to implement direct instruction for Khaled when he gets to school stage to teach him curriculum.
It is hard work. That woman was right, it is so hard. I need to get rid of this chip on my shoulder and get over my hang ups.
Life does not end at 5 years of age or even 11. Khaled will be in high school one day, inshallah (Allah willing) and he needs a mother who will always be learning and evolving.
So back to the hiring. It is possibly the most painful part of the process and from what I have heard, it does not really ever end. Life changes, people move, they break down, they give up, they look good onpaper but suck in reality, and you have to hire again. It goes on.
I am prepared to do that if it means that at any one time when Khaled is in a program, it is a quality program taught by an excellent teacher. I no longer care about number of hours. I wish I could somehow convey that to a therapist and find one who is like minded.