So, I've decided to start a blog about raising my wonderful, excitable, energetic, talkative child. 'Why is it called Soapy Water?' you might ask. Well, I've named the blog after a mid-80's SNL skit with a character named Helmet Head. Helmet Head was just a normal guy, except that he (quite obviously) had a helmet on his head. Poor Helmet Head couldn't get that helmet off, no matter what he did, it was stuck, forever. He decided instead to live his life with his conspicuous affliction. At cocktail parties, people couldn't help but ask Helmet Head, "Well, have you tried soapy water?" To which Helmet Head would say, "SOAPY WATER WAS THE FIRST THING I TRIED, THEN IT WAS THE SECOND THING I TRIED, THEN IT WAS THE THIRD..." before he'd flop, sobbing, into the nearest couch attempting once again to pathetically remove the helmet, of course to no avail.
This has been a major theme in parenting the kid. When he was not sleeping as an infant, "have you tried giving him cereal before bedtime?" When he was not sleeping as a toddler, "have you tried playing soothing music?" When he misbehaves at a playdate or in public, "have you considered giving him time out?" To all of these, I say, attempting to hold in the preface that these suggestions are all so obvious as to suggest that the offering of this advice clearly shows that these fellow parents hold my intelligence and ability in very low esteem, that yes, I have tried this or that gem of advice in the past.
So, while I'm still open to new and exciting parenting strategies, I've also decided to wear the helmet, so to speak. My kid is who he is, and while he is not a cookie cutter, speaks-only-when-spoken-to kid (and truly, who among us was THAT child or have THAT child anyway?), my job is not to mold him into a "perfect" human being but to facilitate his growth so that he can be a success in life.
NOT SO EASY A TASK! Indeed. But it is the one that I am apparently evolutionarily, biologically and currently charged. What can I say? I love the kid.
So, why the blog? Why not? It's a good outlet, for one, as parenting is the hardest and most frustrating thing I have ever done. It's a good place to brag as well, as parenting is also one of the most rewarding and honestly hilarious things I have and will ever experience. I expect my future posts will take one of the following themes: 1. The continual search for ways to help the kid make the most of his life. He needs some help channelling this energy so that he can be a future productive member of society. In short, how to use his powers for good, not evil. 2. Trials and tribulations Kindergarten. Did I mention he just started that last week? Related entries will include discussions with teachers, administrators, other educational staff and probably some pscyhological professionals (god help us). 3. HILARITY! Did I mention that the kid is funny? Did I mention that he's the funniest kid ever? Well, now I have.
So, thanks for reading and come back! There's more to follow! We're off for another exciting Saturday... We've got our helmets on, and no amount of soapy water can hold us back!!!